Dementia quiz

first question:

You are a participant in a race. You overtake
the second person. What position are you in?





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answer : If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the
second person and you take his place, you are in second place!

Try to do better next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much timeas
you took for the first question, ok?





Second question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are....?
(scroll down)




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answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are.....
Wrong again. Tell me sunshine, how can you overtake the last person??


You're not very good at this, are you?


Third question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note:
This must be done in your head only.
Do not use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20 .. Now add another 1000.
Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for the correct answer.....




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did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100...



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe...



Fourth question:

Mary's father has five daughters:






1. Nana, 2. Nene,3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ???
2. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







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did you answer nunu? No! Of course it isn't.
Her name is mary! Read the question again!







Okay, now the bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to
redeem yourself:





A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he
successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a
pair of sunglasses; how does he indicate what he wants?





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it's really very simple
he opens his mouth and asks for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so do not let them see your answers for this test!

A blonde and a cowboy were sitting in a bar watching the ten o'clock news which was reporting a man on a building threatening to jump.

Cowboy: "I bet you fifty dollars that that ole boy jumps."

Blonde: "You're on."

They continue to watch and low and behold, the guy jumps to his death. The blonde all shocked and shaken opens her purse and sadly hands the cowboy fifty dollars.

The cowboy, suddenly feeling ashamed refuses the money.

Cowboy: "I'm sorry little lady, I can't do this to you. I already new he would jump. I saw this news cast at five o'clock when it was live so I knew it would happen."

Blonde: "Well, so did I, but after what happened last time I never thought he would do it AGAIN."

RatdogWillie wrote on 08/16/13 at 07:45:09:


My wonderfully talented and very smart wife got all but the arithmetic question correct.  
Yep, I married UP !

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.'

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says.

'I was behind you at McDonalds.'

Monday morning Betty entered the elevator on the second floor to go to the 7th floor as she does each and every day at the same time. The new oriental gentleman that was to occupy an office on the tenth floor was on the elevator as she stepped in. She noticed that he seem to be in pain as he was rubbing his swollen cheek. As the doors closed, the gentleman loudly passed gas, making a noised that sounded like “HONDAAA!”

The next few days when Betty rode the elevator, the same situation was repeated. But on Friday when Betty entered the elevator she noticed that the oriental man was smiling and had no swelling. As the doors shut, the gentleman cut a loud one that made a normal sound like ”FARRRRTTT!”.

Somewhat embarrassed, Betty still felt compelled to confront the man. She turned to face him and said, “I don’t mean to embarrass you, but I couldn’t help but notice that for the last four days, when you passed gas  it sounded like the word Honda, but just now it sounded like a normal fart. The gentleman smiled and said,” I went to the dentist and had problem fixed.”

Betty was confused, “Dentist?”

The gentleman smiles and replied, “Everyone knows an abscess makes the fart go Honda.”

A novitiate is laboriously copying an old volume of the Holy Book into a new volume. Near the end of the day he asks the old monk "Father, why do we copy these books?"

The monk explains "My son, we copy the old books into new books so that we may continue to use them without fear that they will disintegrate. We store the old volumes so that if something should happen to the volume in use we can recopy it."

"Father, in all the recopies, have there ever been any mistakes made?"

"No, my son. We check the copies carefully, and of course God helps the copyist. To show you, I shall go to the vault this evening and bring up the very oldest volume. Tomorrow morning we can compare them and you can see for yourself."

The next morning the novitiate enters the copy room and sees the old monk with his head on the table between the two volumes, sobbing. "Father, what is wrong?"

"The word was 'celebRate'."

A small zoo in South Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. ithin a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:


"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.


"Second", he said, "She must wear a ‘Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt."
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.


"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.


"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist."

Once again it was agreed.


"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00."


TEACHER: Maria, go to the globe and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.


TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

ducks have cloacas