An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

"Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, I think it is only fair --- since you are blind --- that you should know five details."

"1. The bartender is a blonde girl, with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde woman, with a ‘Billy-Club.'

3. I am a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The person to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"



The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

"No. Not if I need to explain it five times."

Why, ‘men’, don’t do, ‘Dear Abby’, stuff.

A letter was written, from a wife.
She lamented, her car broke down, and she walked home 1/2 a mile,
to find her husband in bed with the next door lady.
(Yada,Yada,Yada, she went on about the infudality)

The answer, (from a man) was:
 “Did you check the Carb, was the battery good,  did a belt break,
was the alternator putting out enough power, etc, etc, etc,  !

Dear Dr. Ruth:

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

This guy had been having real bad migraine headaches and after many doctors and such, he could not find any resolve. He finally went to a well known doctor in town that tried more 'holistic' remedies. On his visit, they discussed all of the things the patient had tried. Finally, the doctor opened up and shared with the patient that he also had suffered from random migraines in years past and when he got a migraine, he would go home and have really wild sex with his wife and it would miraculously clear up his migraines seemingly for weeks at a time.  So the patient, at the end of his rope, took the advice and said he would at least give it a try.

A couple of months later the patient came in for a follow-up and the doctor asked how he was. The patient replied that he tried the suggested remedy several times and each time it miraculously cured his migraines for weeks at a time.  On his way out, he shook the doctor's hand and thanked him for the suggestion, and looked over at the doctor and said "by the way, Doc, you have a very nice house."