MShipley wrote on 07/12/18 at 09:54:07:Ray, I have for pain a couple times taken a pain killer, teeth and I broke 2 ribs once. I have never taken them for more than a couple days because I do like them way too much, and I know that.
It's funny 34 years later i can still taste bourbon and feel its burn going down my throat if I think about it. I guess that never goes away. It's funny and I imagine you understand this but the concept of having a couple beers has never appealed to me. I never wanted to do anything but be drunk, and the drunker the better.
Yep, Huey Lewis nails the need in his song, eh
I was all over the board, started with beer, but it couldn't deliver escape fast enough....
Whiskey/bourbon, harsh stuff.
I think what saved me from certain premature death was I was a lousy drunk.....
When I first went to AA, heard all these truly amazing testimonies of how far they sank out, and the road back, it just blew my mind....
I couldn't compete
I hid my friggen bottle, Goldschläger..... in the garage, a closet rummy.
I didn't crash my car, kill anyone, lose my job, house, wife, family....
Just a weak selfish little turdball who drank because the BIG BAD world scared him so
But the physical addiction is the same.
It weeds itself into a need, and the cycle begins.
I don't have so much, after 20 years, the fantasizing of how good a beer would taste, etc, no.....
But like I spoke re: drugs/pills, that simple euphoria of lifting the weight from my shoulders, makes no difference if its real, or imagined weight, the lifting I can really physically feel.
Ya know, as I type this out, a realization just accrued to me.
Many, many years ago I had 3 back surgeries, first one in my early 20's.
The last one, lat 20's, left me with what is called drop foot.
It has caused me to have to lift my leg up higher than normal, so my toes/front of my foot, do not get caught on something, causing me to trip.
It feels normal to me, as I have had this condition for the majority of my life....
But it is rather obvious to others, I have a condition that hampers my ability to walk, I can't run.....
It has thrown my whole gait out of whack, causing other issues, as my core and balance is no longer centered.....
I wonder if this euphoria I feel when taking a pain killer, is somehow lifting all that stuff too????
So. its not so much in my mind, that all is good and right, etc, but it has a real medicinal effect on my body as a whole?
I think I might have "stumbled" onto sumtin ( pun intended )
Oh well, a life of pain pills is NOT in my future, of that I am certain, but it does provide me with a little more possible insight into how all this masking and chemicals interact......