Dave wrote on 02/05/16 at 04:05:05:Art:
I don't know about the others on this forum - but the time I have spent with Oldfeller, Lancer, old_rider, Springman and MMRanch has taught me that their marriage was made in heaven (mine too).....and although we might occasionally make a joke about the man/woman relationship in our lives - the fact is that we have very loving and caring wives and are committed to them. They treat us very well, and give us a lot of freedom........there just isn't any humor in telling that part of the story. My wife understands my need to have quirky hobbies, and is happy to let me go hang out with this group of Savages a couple times a year.....and she loves me enough to worry until I arrive home safely.
I am sure there are controlling and possessive women out there - but those are not the ones we married.
I hope someday you can find a woman that will change your opinion - it took me 38 years to find the right one for me!
Conspiring to sell a man's moto while he's in hospital isn't controlling?
I would strongly disagree with that one
reverse the roles
If OF's wife were the biker, and willingly gave it up to raise chirrun, and he rewarded her with a new bike once the kids were off on their own, (but kept the title in his name) and she was the one going for a heart valve now, and he was the one plotting with the kid to sell the bike while she was abed in the hospital, do you think her reaction would be as sanguine as OF's? maybe, but I sorta doubt it
I'm not calling anyone a bad person here, but a grown person isn't a child or property
I have been guilty of this myself, when my ex returned to the self destructive behaviours of her past, that weren't 'likely' to wind up in an early grave, but rather were guaranteed to
her reaction "you don't own me"
You say true, I do not
you don't own me, either
she didn't like it when I said that
Now, I didn't marry lightly or early, staying single till I found 'the one' at 28, and I thought I had a unicorn
it took hindsight to see the controlling nature kick in less than a year after we married, it was so subtle
OF voluntarily gave up riding once already, to make as sure as possible his children would have a father around to raise them, and that I salute
I do not salute a wife and child deciding to end his riding days against his will
Nor do I salute the idea that them doing this so blatantly he knew it, as though he is a child, powerless to stop it
His remarks re buying his own bike I do salute, that would have been a huge 'oh yeah?' to the notion of his powerlessness
As for me, the ex never was dumb enough to tell me 'you can't do that', no she was much more clever, using manipulation and shaming as a control technique, and I laughed it off too, but in trying to figure out what went wrong, I stumbled onto evo phych, and once I was aware of that, I became very sensitive to women's covert control techniques, as well as men's overt and unsubtle ones, I came to understand that me and the ex were both in the wrong, and both simply following our natures
Today if I date a woman I am on my guard against the controlling side of my nature, and of the covert attempts of my date to control me
that which has been seen can't be unseen
so far I have encountered no women who do not engage in this, just as I never found an animal that wouldn't bite if provoked
you fellows seem to have found the mythical unicorns, apparently. so congratulations, as for me, I remain free and independant, needing neither permission nor forgiveness
You're happy, I'm happy, everybody is happy
And OF I mean what I said, if you decide riding is no longer worth the risk, I sure as hell won;t say different, so long as it is your own decision, based on facts, not feels
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