Haven't been on this site for a few days so haven't been "keeping up" I'm pretty much going through the same thing. I know it's not easy but it's just a fact of life now. Luckily my case is a little different. wasn't anyone else involved. Mine is dealing with some serious depression problems. At first it was shock, pissed, how dare you, all of it. Now it's just a fact I have to deal with. A few things I did that didn't change any thing but did help was I made sure people knew what was going on. Got a little sympathy from friends and family but they also understood what was going on. Second, I changed my house, his junk out, mine in. His 8 deer heads came off the living room wall, all of his turkey tails, his phesants, all laying on the basement floor. Gun cabnits got covered with sheets. My photos that I took were blown up framed and put up. His curio cleared out and all of my antique dishes came out of the closet and put out for show. Got rid of his sofa that he loved and got a totally different one His "junk" is pretty much shoved into one area of the house that I don't have to see on a daily bases. He can come and get it whenever. Basiclly I made "our" house my home. It does help!! His VStar Raider came out of the best parking spot in the garage, and shoved in between the tool box and the jeep and mine is in front in the "best" spot. Deleted all the pictures of him off of my camera and computer, number off of my cell. Pretty much everything he liked about this place no longer exist. When he said something about it I told him that this was my house now and he didn't like it he can either move in and change it back, or get himself a house just like this one and do anything he wants with his stuff. Our dog life's can probaly be counted in months instead of years and when I have to put him down he won't be called, he dumped on the dog too! But he will be called once it's over and down with. maybe. Bought a friend for the one cockatiel "we" had. Now "I" have two. Little things can make a difference.
Good luck I know it's not easy but life can go on

piglt ... I am very sorry to hear about your maritial troubles too ... you seem to be handling it quite different than I though!

babyhog ... here in Nfld. the legal separation date is usually the last date the couple lived together as a consentually married couple ... in March, my wife can serve me with divorce papers if she so wishes and then it's legally over and done with. A court date could be set, but I don't even have to show up to make it legal ... or our situation could be like that of one of my pals ... his wife of 6 years ran out on him back in '06 ... both have other live-in partners now yet they still haven't divorced ... they just live separate lives !
My wife's profession is that of a certified Legal Assistant (essentially same as Para-legal) and worked in the area of family law for a number of years ... so she knows all of the loopholes and could if she is so inclined, take me to the cleaners ...

Perry, It is 2:30 AM here in the South. I am full of muscle relaxers, oxycodone, ice cream and chocolate syrup. Life is good. My dr's nurse called Friday and said I "Flunked" the MRI. Then she laughed and told me they finally found something worth going after. I have been suffering for years with such a mess that no doctor could locate a specific place to gouge, scrape, drill, etc. Three herniated disks and vertabrae have migrated closing around spine and cutting off messages to lower legs. They have no choice but to go in now. Waiting for neurosurgeon brave or stupid enough to try it. I know I'm way past ready. Results are iffy, but it's a start. Looking forward to 8" of snow in Mississippi Mon-Tues. May cause me to have to wait a few days extra.

It seems we have some tender hearts on here with good advice. I know some professional counselors who do good work, but my point is not to go lay on a couch and tell all your troubles. I am talking about groups of people who share common problems. I am interested in keeping you positive and relieving some of your stress. The support groups I led consisted of 8-12 people who came just to learn, some to cry, others to understand what their loved ones are feeling. You don't get advice. You participate or not, as you choose. You take what you need and leave the rest. This Forum may be enough for you. I just know people who are living life and come to a screeching halt start missing old connections with humans first.

Anyway, enough about you. I'm wondering if I have surgery under Medicare (Obama Plan) and it's repealed by the new guys before the doctor releases me, can I get the doctor paid by one plan and get ME paid by the other one. Imagine what a pile of Savages I could buy for the price of back surgery.    Now guys, just kidding. Perry is the subject of this thread. Looking for beautiful snow and possible relief from years of being gripey from pain. Unless....I really am just gripey.  

Perry, even in no fault states the judge usualy leans towards the woman.
ANY agreement NEEDS to be in writeing and have your lawyer look at it before signing. Fact is DO NOT sign anything untill your lawyer has looked at it!
If possible get evidance of the unfaithfullness of your spouse, for your OWN protection. Don't even tell her you have it unless needed.
Its a REAL GOOD idea not to even talk to her without a reliable witness for your protection.
Divorce brings out a nasty streak in women, even if their the one looking for it. Makes em go for EVERYTHING they think they can get their hands on. Sometimes their idea but usualy her lawyers idea. The longer he/she can drag it out and the more they can get her the more THEY get paid. PROTECT YOURSELF and ALL your property/money.
Even civil friendly divorces can take a bad turn.

Please don't just assume that women are out to take you for whatever they can.  Thanks Wolfman for clarifying that it can be the lawyers fault.  I filed for my divorce and didn't ask for anything.  Not even child support!  We split joint custody, so why should one spouse take money from the other, if care of the child is equal?  We sold our house, split the profit.  Only thing I "got" was first right to claim our child on my tax return, and we even noted that if it was more financially beneficial for him to claim him, we'd split the excess.  We did not involve lawyers.  It "can" be done.  We drew up papers ourselves, the law master reviewed and approved.  Done.  

In other words Perry, yes be careful, but be sensible too.

Yep, the LoneStar bike rally is scheduled for Nov 3-6 this year.
There’s a spare Savage if you need it. Kayaks to paddle around,
birds to watch, and a wine rack in the kitchen if sophistication is
needed. Or we can be complete heathens (my normal state) with
beach bonfires, beer drinking, talking trash, boats with motors for
inshore&offshore fishing, golfcart racing, and a 4-wheel drive truck
to retrieve anything that breaks, gets stuck, or in some cases has the
tires pointed up. The place has 4 real beds and a couple more that go
together quick if other Savage heathens were to show up. The fishing
is likely better say in June/July but it can be unbelievably hot/humid
then also.

Let’s make a plan.    

Perry.. you gotta go see Reelthing and the fish shack.  Very nice place, really nice guy.   He thinks the fish are scared of me though..  I promise to stay on the beach (and probably catch more than you from the dock!   )

They are nice. Good goin Gary. You coulda had more on the boat, if. IF Youda had me onboard.