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HUMOR (jokes and such!) (Read 13690 times)
Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #795 - 11/08/16 at 18:18:10
 
Statistics say 1 in 3 people cheat on their Significant Other. I want to know if it's my wife or my girlfriend!  Angry

Grin
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Kris01
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Eat, sleep, RIDE!

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #796 - 11/08/16 at 20:48:35
 
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #797 - 11/09/16 at 18:29:32
 
Vladimir Putin flies in to Warsaw Airport and goes through Customs:


Name?

Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.


Address?

Kremlin, Moscow, Russia.


Occupation?

No, not this time. Just visiting.
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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mpescatori
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Why call me a spammer ?
Reply #798 - 11/10/16 at 01:24:02
 
WTH ???
An Error Has Occurred!

Quote:
Error: You are currently banned from posting due to possible spamming!
After 270 second(s) your ban will automatically be lifted!


Huh

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Maurizio Pescatori, Esq.
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Mikuni BST40, K&N filter, Stage2 cam, Verslagen tensioner, Sportster muff, 120 proof moonshine, Pirelli MT 66 tourers... and a chain conversion too !
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #799 - 11/10/16 at 18:14:36
 
Been a bad boy?  Cheesy
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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mpescatori
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #800 - 11/11/16 at 01:19:17
 
No, I was trying to post a funny joke but system says I am a spammer... just because I copy&paste?

Huh
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Maurizio Pescatori, Esq.
Gentleman Rider

Mikuni BST40, K&N filter, Stage2 cam, Verslagen tensioner, Sportster muff, 120 proof moonshine, Pirelli MT 66 tourers... and a chain conversion too !
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Dave
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #801 - 11/11/16 at 02:54:42
 
A 270 second time out?

Man....that is harsh! Sad
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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #802 - 11/17/16 at 05:01:12
 
I'm 47 and have the body of a 25 year old supermodel.


But it takes up too much room in my freezer. Any suggestions?
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Kris01
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Eat, sleep, RIDE!

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #803 - 11/18/16 at 04:50:49
 
I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators.

I've been taking steps to avoid it.
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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MnSpring
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people my age.

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #804 - 11/22/16 at 15:15:20
 
Man walks into a Bar.
Sees a Lady alone at a  Table.
He walks over and says:

" Hi,  I am a  Politician,
 and a  Honest one"


She says:
 "Hi, I am a  Prostitute,
and a  Virgin".


 



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Ben Franklin once said: "If you give up a freedom, for the sake of security, you will have neither".
Which is More TRUE, today, than yesterday.('06, S-40, Stock) well, mostly .
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1st2know
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #805 - 11/23/16 at 21:23:35
 

I didn't fill out C20 and the C25s...I hope I don't get audited.
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Kaw VN1700, V-Strom 650, Coal powered Chevy Spark.
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old_rider
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #806 - 11/24/16 at 05:30:41
 
^^^^  where is the like button for that post??
Grin Grin Grin Grin
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We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #807 - 11/24/16 at 13:00:03
 
Wait until that picture circulates around the internet. Very few people will have a clue what it means!  Grin
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Tocsik
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #808 - 11/27/16 at 17:08:36
 
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose

Woman: So a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?
Man: Correct

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?
Man: Correct

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No.

Man: Where’s your Ferrari?
Woman: …
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'08|Raptor|Dyna|Stock jets & no other carb changes @ 5280' alt|'slavy CCT|Kawa front pulley|130/90 rear tire|7" LED headlight|3" straight risers|FIAMM El Grande horns|Mutazu hard bags
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MnSpring
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #809 - 11/30/16 at 18:20:08
 
A  Newly  minted,  ‘Game Warden’, was assigned a  District.
He did his homework, and learned, who were the bad guys and the good  guys.

So, he  decided, ‘Old  Fred’, was a Bad Guy,
and always  ‘Poached’.

So one morning, he went out to, ‘Old Fred’s Cabin,
at 4 AM, hid in the weeds, and waited.
(To  Catch Him)

At 5 AM, he could smell  Coffee  Brewing, and Eggs/Bacon frying.
At 5:30,  ‘Old  Fred’ came out on the Porch,
with TWO,  Plates of food, and Coffee.
And said:   “ Come On Out   Tim,  got your  Breakfast  Here !”
 (The G.W.’s name was  Tim)

(Well, how the Heck did ‘ol Fred’ know.  
So Tim had  Breakfast.)

A Month Later,  Tim went out at  3 AM,
Same thing, Next month, at  2AM,
Same thing.

This went on for several years.

Finally,   Both, were in a, ‘Old  Folks Home’.
Tim, asked  Fred:
“How  did you know I was out their?”
Fred said: “ I Made  TWO   Breakfasts,   EVERY   Morning”.

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Ben Franklin once said: "If you give up a freedom, for the sake of security, you will have neither".
Which is More TRUE, today, than yesterday.('06, S-40, Stock) well, mostly .
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