SuzukiSavage.com - HUMOR (jokes and such!)

Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #645 - 09/10/15 at 18:18:13 Those are the fun ones!
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arteacher

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #646 - 09/15/15 at 07:37:11

The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon: "I have some good
news and, I have some bad news…"

The tycoon replies: "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news
first?

The lawyer says: "Well your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this
week that she figures are worth a minimum of $20 to $30 million."

The tycoon replies enthusiastically: "Well done… my wife is so smart!
You've just made my day; now what's the bad news?"

The lawyer answers: "The pictures are of you with your secretary.

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arteacher

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #647 - 09/15/15 at 07:40:17

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your Business at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I'm Sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't Even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

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white '07, Raask exh, Corbin seat, slipstreamer shie, Raptor, Routy's fwd controls, Baron tach, Frisco bars, Isogrips, Headlight and taillight modulators, Dial-a- jet, AME 9 deg chop kit, K&N air flt

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anebv8

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #648 - 09/17/15 at 20:22:29

A woman who is 6 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 4 months later she awakes, and ask the doctor about her baby.

"You had twins," the doctor said. "A boy and a girl. They are both fine and healthy. Luckily, your brother named them for you."

"Oh no!!" she said. "He's so thick you wouldn't believe it! What did he name the girl?"

"Denise," said the doctor.

"Oh. That's not so bad. I quite like Denise... What did he name the boy?"

"Denephew."

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Ago Solvo Intereo Puteus

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thumperclone Serious Thumper Alliance Member Offline PGR rider riding with respect Posts: 6068 Grand Junction Colorado Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #649 - 09/17/15 at 22:40:52 ouch!
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arteacher

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #650 - 09/18/15 at 05:56:22

Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:

* My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."

* My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."

* My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."

* "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all that property".

Sarah replies, "Property ? .... he had a paper route!"

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white '07, Raask exh, Corbin seat, slipstreamer shie, Raptor, Routy's fwd controls, Baron tach, Frisco bars, Isogrips, Headlight and taillight modulators, Dial-a- jet, AME 9 deg chop kit, K&N air flt

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MnSpring

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #651 - 09/18/15 at 08:55:08

(This time I hit, 'refresh', before I posted Grin

)

A, cartoon. In a person’s home: (Probably circa 50's)

Two men standing by the fireplace,
over the fireplace, hangs trophy Big game, and Fish.
Both are smoking pipes, and dressed in Suit & Ties.

Two women, are standing at the door to the kitchen,
again, both nicely dressed.
A Balloon, over one said: “I used Chenille #5 to get my man”.
The other balloon, (over the lady with a apron over her fancy dress)
Said: “I used Hoppes #9”

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Ben Franklin once said: "If you give up a freedom, for the sake of security, you will have neither".
Which is More TRUE, today, than yesterday.('06, S-40, Stock) well, mostly .

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anebv8 Senior Member Offline SuzukiSavage.com Rocks! Posts: 280 Rangiora,New Zealand Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #652 - 09/22/15 at 00:14:44 I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some milk and got blown into the crappity smacking pub.
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old_rider Serious Thumper Offline Backyard Bill Productions Posts: 3147 flordia panhandle Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #653 - 09/22/15 at 22:08:02 Tends to happen here too! That and the only way home is one four lane road that has accidents every four hours! Traffic is so blocked you have to stop for refreshments or die of thirst!
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rl153 Serious Thumper Offline S40 Just right! Posts: 906 Bloomfield,CT Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #654 - 09/23/15 at 07:36:03 [][/img]
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Dave YaBB Moderator ModSquad Online SuzukiSavage.com Rocks! Posts: 18099 Camp Springs, Kentucky Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #655 - 09/23/15 at 09:16:25 Looks like a "beater" bike!
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old_rider Serious Thumper Offline Backyard Bill Productions Posts: 3147 flordia panhandle Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #656 - 09/24/15 at 21:09:08 Well, to finish off that look, your helmet could have a "tophat"....or a simple cymbal.
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MnSpring

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Younger than most
people my age.

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Minn
Gender: male

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #657 - 10/14/15 at 17:54:08

Don’t have the drawn Cartoon,
so you will have to think about this.

Two frames.
1st one, A big City street, view from across the street.
Building in background, big letters said:
“J & P Hardware Store”
A, (supposedly the father), smoking a pipe, with a suit and wearing a fedora hat,
said to the boy with him, (supposedly his son),
“You are old enough now, you have shown responsibility, lets go in and get your first Gun”.

Next panel, same view, same store, only this time, the store has a, (Fast Food Name over it).
The ‘father’ no hat, slacks, shirt, a, ‘metrosexual looking type’,
says to his ’son’, “Your old enough now, lets go in, and get you your first, ‘Big Mac”.

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Ben Franklin once said: "If you give up a freedom, for the sake of security, you will have neither".
Which is More TRUE, today, than yesterday.('06, S-40, Stock) well, mostly .

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anebv8

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Posts: 280
Rangiora,New Zealand
Gender: male

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #658 - 10/23/15 at 00:30:53

The third grade teacher asks her students to tell a story with a moral. The kids get up with the usual -- don't put all your eggs in one basket, etc..

Finally one boy gets up and says "My uncle Jim was in the Vietnam War. One night he was on sentry duty, drinking Jack Daniels, when the Viet Cong attacked. A bullet broke the bottle as a full company charged his position.

He mowed down about sixty of them with his M-60 until it jammed. Then he killed another twenty with his M-16 until it jammed, too. The last five charged in on him, and he beat four to death with his entrenching tool, then killed the last one with the broken bottle. Then he got another bottle of Jack and went back to drinking."

"And what can be the moral of this awful story?" asked the horrified teacher.

"Never crappity smack with uncle Jim when he's been drinking," said the boy.

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Ago Solvo Intereo Puteus

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justin_o_guy2 Serious Thumper Offline What happened? Posts: 55279 East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #659 - 10/23/15 at 09:07:04 Sounds like good advice.
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