SuzukiSavage.com - HUMOR (jokes and such!)

old_rider Serious Thumper Offline Backyard Bill Productions Posts: 3147 flordia panhandle Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #135 - 01/17/14 at 05:26:10 Whats the girl in the yellow top doing to the guy in the red shirt by the cotton candy machine to the left?
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mpescatori Serious Thumper Offline Romanum Thumperium Cavalco, yeaaah !!! Posts: 3547 Rome, Italy Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #136 - 01/17/14 at 07:15:18 Naaah... that's just parallax and perspective... ain't it ? Huh ? Huh ?
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justin_o_guy2 Serious Thumper Offline What happened? Posts: 55279 East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #137 - 01/17/14 at 09:14:51 mpescatori wrote on 01/17/14 at 01:51:02: My, my, JOG, what a tweee-sted mind ! Meee? Im not tweested! You wanna see tweested? Check out the guy in front of the portapotty, pretty much center behind the "KNock the pins down" game.
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justin_o_guy2

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What happened?

Posts: 55279
East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #138 - 01/17/14 at 09:49:14

Taken from

http://www.realityzone.com/currentperiod.html

Sort of a Drudge like compilation of news, articles, & some analysis & editorial., Every week, on Friday, he posts a new one. Photo of the week, humor, I enjoy it,,

It had to happen. Blond-guy jokes!

Two blond guys find three grenades and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned the blond neighbor guy and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blond guy replied: "Well the joke's on all of you, because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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A blond guy is in the bathroom, and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
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A blond guy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me". The blonde guy says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
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A blond guy spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blond guy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"
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A blonde guy's dog is missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies.
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A blond guy is in jail. A guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
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(This one actually makes sense...sort of...)
An Italian tourist asks a blond guy: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde guy replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.

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old_rider Serious Thumper Offline Backyard Bill Productions Posts: 3147 flordia panhandle Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #139 - 01/18/14 at 23:53:38 Geico commercial: Oldest trick in the book... have you seen it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSxfUmYQeyE I can't help but laugh every time I seeith it.
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justin_o_guy2 Serious Thumper Offline What happened? Posts: 55279 East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #140 - 01/19/14 at 06:33:56 Yea, somehow I saw that. Usually I avoid seeing commercials, pause & run thru, record, run thru, anything to dodge commercials,, but I saw that one & YES,, Its funny.. The goofy lizzard on his knees crying about a flat? Nope,, made me wanna punch the TV..
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mpescatori

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Romanum Thumperium
Cavalco, yeaaah !!!

Posts: 3547
Rome, Italy
Gender: male

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #141 - 01/19/14 at 09:27:42

old_rider wrote on 01/18/14 at 23:53:38:

Geico commercial:

Oldest trick in the book... have you seen it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSxfUmYQeyE

I can't help but laugh every time I seeith it. Cheesy

OK, so I watched the ad three times, maybe it was the low volume, maybe I didn't quite catch the pun,
but "15 minutes on your knees" makes me think of something... and it's not prayers... Cheesy

Else, I didn't get it... Roll Eyes

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Maurizio Pescatori, Esq.
Gentleman Rider

Mikuni BST40, K&N filter, Stage2 cam, Verslagen tensioner, Sportster muff, 120 proof moonshine, Pirelli MT 66 tourers... and a chain conversion too !

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justin_o_guy2 Serious Thumper Offline What happened? Posts: 55279 East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #142 - 01/19/14 at 09:30:44 Look ye there Ha! Made ya look.
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RatdogWillie Serious Thumper Offline Nostalgia isn't what it used to be... Posts: 854 Johnstown, PA. Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #143 - 01/19/14 at 09:43:49 justin_o_guy2 wrote on 01/19/14 at 09:30:44: Look ye there Ha! Made ya look. http://www.divorce-advice-guide.com/gallery/image/middle_made-you-look.jpg http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c0/d9/29/c0d929192ba99b116ceeda40c088b... http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/57/6e/d5/576ed55bbf39a0df976e552c83300...
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RatdogWillie

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Nostalgia isn't what
it used to be...

Posts: 854
Johnstown, PA.
Gender: male

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #144 - 01/21/14 at 07:16:52

A month ago I dropped my mobile phone and before I could pick it up a badger carried it off in his mouth and swallowed it, I thought that was the end of it, but that was not the case.

Today the NSA contacted me and asked about my movements, they want to know why I spend most nights creeping around peoples back gardens and spend my days in an underground hideout.

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What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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mpescatori Serious Thumper Offline Romanum Thumperium Cavalco, yeaaah !!! Posts: 3547 Rome, Italy Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #145 - 01/23/14 at 11:03:03 From www.engrish.com
Back to top	Maurizio Pescatori, Esq. Gentleman Rider Mikuni BST40, K&N filter, Stage2 cam, Verslagen tensioner, Sportster muff, 120 proof moonshine, Pirelli MT 66 tourers... and a chain conversion too ! IP Logged

mpescatori Serious Thumper Offline Romanum Thumperium Cavalco, yeaaah !!! Posts: 3547 Rome, Italy Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #146 - 01/23/14 at 11:04:11 As in... grin & bear it ?
Back to top	Maurizio Pescatori, Esq. Gentleman Rider Mikuni BST40, K&N filter, Stage2 cam, Verslagen tensioner, Sportster muff, 120 proof moonshine, Pirelli MT 66 tourers... and a chain conversion too ! IP Logged

RatdogWillie

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Nostalgia isn't what
it used to be...

Posts: 854
Johnstown, PA.
Gender: male

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #147 - 01/27/14 at 07:35:19

This email seems like too good of a deal to pass up....doesn't it?

MY DEAR AMIRACAN FREIND.

I AM ABACHA, OF LATE ABACHA, HEAD OF STATE OF KIMBABO, WHO DIED ON THE 8TH OF DECEMBER OF 2013. I CONTACTED YOU BECAUSE OF MY NEED TO DEAL WITH PERSONS OF WHOM MY FAMILY AND I HAVE HAD NO PREVIOUS PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS.

SINCE 2012 MY MOTHER-UN-LAW HAS BEEN SUBJECTED TO ALL SORTS OF HARASMENT AND INTIMINDATION WITH LOTS OF NEGATIVE REPORTS EMINATING FROM THE GOVERNMENT AND THE BANK OF PLUTO ABOUT MY CARBUNCLES . THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT HAS ALSO INSURED THAT OUR BANK ACCOUNTS ARE DEPLETED AND ALL SEIZED.

IT IS IN VIEW OF THIS, THAT I SEEK YOUR CO-OPERATION AND ASSISTANCE IN THE TRANSFER OF THE SUM OF US $9,000,000(MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) BEING THE VERY LAST OF MY FAMILY FUND IN MY POSESSION AND CONTROL.

THE CENTRAL GOVERNMENT SEIZED ALL OUR PORK BELLY FUTURES AND FROZE ALL OUR UVULAS, BOTH LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL AFTER THE DEATH OF MY GOAT , BUT MY ONLY HOPE NOW IS THIS AVAILABLE US $9,000,000 CASH WHICH I CAREFULLY PACKAGED AND DEPOSITED AS PHOTOGRAPHIC MATERIALS WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN LAGOS WHERE MY COUSIN IS A TAP DANCER .

IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST US IN RECEIVING THIS MONEY ON OUR BEHALF, PLEASE, CONTACT MY CHESEMAKER , EL KABONG, IMMEDIATELY ON FAX NUMBER OR TELEPHONE NUMBER . ON RECEPT OF YOUR REPLY, HE WILL CONTACT YOU TO DISCUS THE FLUSHOTS AND NEGOATIATE YOUR REWARD, WHICH I CAN ASURE YOU WILL BE VERY ADAMANTINE.

MEANWHILE, OUR INTINTION IS TO INVEST THIS FUNDS IN YOUR COUNTRY BASED ON YOUR ADVICE AND PLEASE INSURE TO KEEP THIS PROPOSAL VERY SECRET AND CONFADENTIAL FOR OBVIOUS REASONS AND SEND TO US YOUR BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION FOR IMMEDATE DEPOSIT OF MY SECRET FUNDS ABOVE.

WHEN REPLYING, PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE/FACSIMILE NUMBER FOR EASY AND CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION.

WE URJINTLY AWAIT YOUR IMMEDATE RESPONSE.
YOUR TRUSTY FREIND ABACHA

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What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Pine Serious Thumper Offline SuzukiSavage.com Rocks! Posts: 1694 Mississippi, USA Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #148 - 01/27/14 at 07:38:54 darn man they froze his uvula... thats harsh! you should help him! and lost his goat... so sad.
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RatdogWillie Serious Thumper Offline Nostalgia isn't what it used to be... Posts: 854 Johnstown, PA. Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #149 - 01/27/14 at 07:54:15 Pine wrote on 01/27/14 at 07:38:54: darn man they froze his uvula... thats harsh! you should help him! and lost his goat... so sad. ....even worse is the fact that he died in December.
Back to top	What was the best thing before sliced bread? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them? How is it possible to have a civil war? What if there were no hypothetical questions? IP Logged