eau de sauvage
|
tl;dr Women are fun.
I was just going to say, only a note on the vital component will work. More b'ground on my story...
The gf keeps telling me that she wants to learn to do the valves or oil, I tell her 'believe me you don't want to do the valves' but sure you can do the oil but interest drops away when the time comes. A while back the bolt that holds seat on at the back worked it's way off, when I noticed that, I bought another one and gave it to her and said, 'ok here's your bolt (it's her bike btw) go and put it on. She goes out to the bike and comes back in 5 minutes later saying she can't get it on. What do you mean you can't get it on it just screws in, I can't get it on, it won't go on I don't know it just won't go on. I take the bolt go out come back 18 seconds later and tell her OK it's on, perhaps we should go out together and see what the problem was. No she doesn't want to do that.
OK put all that on the shelf for the moment. Right so now you have some context, I'm gone with the filter, it's early in the morning she is still asleep, the seat is off, the side over is off the plastic cover is off all various bolts are in a pile with some tools. On my way home a bike is coming towards me and I get a quick wave, I'm on the GS and I wasn't paying attention to the bike, at first I thought is that the S40, then I thought no, couldn't have been, not possible, I've got a modulator on the GS so it's not unusual for people to shout at me or point at me yelling out that there's something wrong with my headlight.
Then I get home and see the bike gone. Moment of confusion, does not compute, this cannot be, not possible, error error, danger Will Robinson. Fortunately she was going to go for a fang but came back. I didn't quite know how to broach this particular conversation that we were about to have. I didn't say anything for a while as I gathered my thoughts, I was just happy the bike was back, I had some terrible visions of what could have happened. I thought it was prudent to just calmly and quietly say... 'glad you saw me because you know there's no air filter in the bike I was taking it to get air blasted'. Straight away she's on the defensive with 'well I didn't know'. I excused myself so I could fume privately and get it all out of my system, when I returned I decided to just gently probe her reasoning. I was genuinely curious as to the thought process involved in seeing the bike in pieces with tools all around it and put it back together when you've never done anything to it, and then just ride off. I thought this was a golden opportunity to delve into the usually inscrutable thought processes of the curvy people. So I needed to remain calm so as not to miss this rare occurrence.
I said again, 'I'm glad you came back because there's no air filter in the bike', immediately she shot back (again) with 'well I didn't know'. Hmmm this wasn't going to be easy... 'didn't you suspect that I was working on the bike seeing as it was in pieces', I innocently inquire. The next bit was priceless, 'I thought you were just teaching me a lesson'. 'What do you mean', I quizzically ask, 'teach you a lesson'. Maybe any women readers here will understand this logic but I confess I was getting more curious by the minute. How does that work? 'You know you take all this stuff off the bike and go out and if I want to ride it then I have to put it together myself'. 'Why the fu...' No let's start again, 'But darling, that doesn't quite make sense seeing as you were completely unable to put the seat bolt in, why would I suspect that you would suddenly be able to reassemble the bike bits, of which the easiest part was the final seat bolt?
After a while I changed tack. 'Well I am amazed that you got all the bits on, at first it took me a while to find all the bolts' locations'. By the way, didn't you see there was no filter in?'. No, she did not notice that. Which is not surprising seeing as she'd never seen it dismantled. 'OK, how about that extra bolt that was left over in the pile, did you not wonder where it went?'. No she did not.
'So let me get this straight, you've never seen the bike being dismantled in any degree, you then attempt to reassemble it on your own without me knowing, you have a bolt over that you don't know where it goes but you get on the bike and ride off anyway' er... 'weren't you concerned about that bolt, I mean maybe it was important'. No that did not occur to her, apparently. Fascinated at this blithe disregard for dying in an horrible grisly road accident, I soldiered on with my interrogation.... but it all got a bit too much and I had to just accept the fact that even after 29 years spending almost all my time with this woman and knowing her thought processes to an intimate degree, she is still able to confound and perplex me with little peeks into the enigma machine that is the mind of the female person. I guess that is why we love them, eh?
|