WHOOPS WELL I forgot entirely about this post, so here's an update nearly two years later. (SO SORRY)
Turns out my knee REALLY didn't like the bike being laid on it. Thankfully I am hyper-mobile and I didn't break anything, but I absolutely bent something too much. There wasn't much bruising but my knee was severely swollen - to the point nothing was really in the right spot to hold my weight. It took nearly three weeks to walk without a crutch or cane, and another couple weeks to walk normally/go up stairs as I couldn't place all of my weight on my right leg. Aaaaand before anyone asks - no, I did not go to the dr and yes I know I should have. I had terrible health insurance and chose to focus on "well there's no bruising and the burning pain has stopped" for a sense of comfort.
I filled my downtime by devouring every book in the house, and read a few of the book suggestions you all gave, so thank you! When I could walk again, I did get on my bicycle, and it did help - but I could not take the excellent suggestion of switching the brakes/hands because it's an ooooold bicycle that you just pedal backwards for the brakes.
And I got back on my Gnatcatcher eventually! I was surprised at how easy she is to ride. The Kymco bike was JERKY, like a small car in 1st gear that's been up to speed and is begging for 2nd, so every adjustment of your foot on the gas (or hand on the throttle) yanks your whole body. I'm not sure if it was just super responsive or what but I just remember that no matter what I did, which gear I was in, how gentle I was with the throttle, or how politely I asked it - it really just felt like I was learning how to drive stick in a car with no second gear again. It genuinely wasn't enjoyable. This one is smoooooooooth in comparison and has a long, forgiving friction zone. I think the extra weight helps it stay balanced at super low speeds also. I'm not being tricked in to feeling like it's the easiest or best bike to learn on, but am absolutely surprised at how "not as insanely hard" as I figured it would be. I feel way more confident on this bike and I'd describe it as respectful vs. afraid.
All I had time to do was ride her around in the cul-de-sac to get some basic things down - my husband even set up obstacles to mimic what was in the course. Winter came pretty quickly, then my husband fell off a roof, then we bought our first house, and moved to a different state. We managed to find time to go to the empty parking lot of a mostly abandoned mall at the end of our street and practice a couple times before his bike LITERALLY CAUGHT ON FIRE WITH HIM ON IT (we caught it quick and he didn't get hurt, but man I bet anyone in the parking lot got quite a show. The bike wasn't too messed up and is fine now). Then winter came again. It's been an exciting couple years.
So now things are thawed. Weather is warm. I am starting a new job with better health insurance. We have a "check and change the bike fluids" date tomorrow - and I'm itching to get back on my bike, master that dang box turn, and finally ride more.
Thank you to the member that sent me the PM (it won't let me reply as I don't have enough posts). It is genuinely touching that so many of y'all cared about someone that posted on your forum one time. I'll try not to go two more years without saying hi