raydawg
Serious Thumper
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OK guys....let's once again look at co-dependency..... I have lectured, till I'm blue in the face....well, maybe my tight panties play a small part....... The following I pinched from https://www.psychologytoday.com/But viewed with the understanding as a society, we are often referred to as, ONE FAMILY, of mankind. Signs of Codependency
The traditional definition of codependency has focused on control, nurturing, and maintenance of relationships with individuals who are chemically dependent, or engaging in undesirable behaviors, such as narcissism. A classic codependency model is the alcoholic husband and his enabling wife.
Dupont and McGovern (1991) argue that codependent individuals “share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, primarily by focusing their lives on the sick or the bad behavior and by making their own self-esteem and well-being contingent on the behavior of the unhealthy family member.” (p. 316).
Le Poire (1992) supposed that the functional (or healthy) partner nurtures the afflicted partner when he or she engages in an undesirable behavior. This behavior is ultimately pleasant to the afflicted partner, which serves to reinforce it. The partner who controls the most rewards (which builds his or her power base) is assumed to be the powerful one, while the other is indebted to him or her (Beattie, 1987). Borrowing a phrase from my clinical mentor, Reevah Simon, “Whenever there is ongoing conflict, there is underlying agreement.” In other words, it takes two to tango, and the dependent or subservient partner may not be as weak, passive, or innocent as they appear.
The following questions can serve as a guide to determine if your relationship involves codependency:
Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs?
Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
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