raydawg
Serious Thumper
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SuzukiSavage.com Rocks!
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pacific northwest
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I shared about my only brother passing, last week.
I just got back from SoCal, where he lived.
I will be returning in a few days to spend the rest of the year with my kids.
Let me wish you ALL safe and happy HOLIDAYS....PEACE!
I will share my final thought, of 3, which I shared with family and friends, re: my brothers death, and life events.
I hope you can find something within my rambling that proves worth its reading....thank you.
Loving with Jimmie....
Well putting the last thoughts on my brother, and all that has transpired since his passing, down into this one last thought, to share...
I am not one who is big on things that remove me from my comfort zone...
And topping that list, would be death.
I accept it, and in many cases, see how it can be a welcomed event, for many different reasons...
In our lives.
Bottom line, none escape it anyway, so in a strange way, it’s all a moot point, no one gets a choice in the matter.
So, I decided instead of fixating on death, to look at the other elements that death needs, in order to even be a viable element of reality.....
And that would be life, itself.
Like the revealing of the morning sun, the day needs the darkness of night, to really fulfill its usefulness to the cosmos of our universe....
As we travel through times, episodes, events, in our lives, it’s like watching the seasons pass each year, one yielding, and accepting, the other, for what each represents, and how it all works together, to a uniformity that forms a distinct balance to things greater than our individualities.
So looking at, “What is life?” became my focus, instead....
I came to find, under the scrunity of my own preconceived notions and bias, that I really couldn’t tether it to “one” thing, other than the opposite of death....
I found it to be too fluid, too fleeting, and ever changing, with each new day, to experience the events that were not there yesterday, and only guessed about, tomorrow.....
I had so many, many, many, memories of my brother, I just wanted to focus on those, stay in them, yesterday, and even further back.
I didn’t want to view him, those things cause my brain to freeze, I don’t do well there, I lose the little kid in me who helps me to journey over the rough stuff, and the, “ I’d rather nots”.... in life.
I did, I had to, and right now, I still don’t like even sharing about it....
I’m freezing.
It’s very close to what I call my F it attitude.
A extremely self indulgent characteristic that has hampered me most of my adult life....
My grandson Max, has a better grip on this stuff than me, as I held him up, so he could glance at Uncle Jimmie, sleeping.
However, what I am mostly feeling, as I am on my way back home, is this....
This event in my brothers life influenced a lot of “living” in the lives of others, who, would not have had the opportunity to live a moment, a shared moment, in Jimmies life, even tho he was no longer present in the flesh....
And within all that transpired, the recollections, the tears, the laughter, the soothing and caring, of one to another, has brought to life, perhaps, who knows....
New events, opportunities, possibilities, to share the goodness, that vibrant season, of summer....
To new meaning, and life exchanges, because in dying, Jimmie really gave life, another chance to thrive,and grow in many others avenues and arenas ...that one might have written off, discarded, allowed to wither, and die...
No, I will not put his soulless image into the memory bank of my mind, it has no value anymore...
He has already exchanged it for something better anyway....
I will
In fact, nourish and nurture the budding of new life events, yet to come, from what I learned from my brother.....
In fact, it’s about the ONLY thing he can ever lay claim to, in having taught me....
As I was always waaaaay smarter than him, and we won’t even go into how much prettier I was....
Bro, love you, enjoy your time with Mom, Dad, Jennifer, Jeffrey, and dude, I bet even Buttons isn’t such a bad dog up in heaven....
Ok, I got carried away with that one....
New seeds have been planted in your orchard, God willing, they will sprout and new life formed, and from them, more seed, to new orchards, might give opportunity to sprout, after planting, the possibility is endless, as to how much life, your life, generated...
Until then, which will be when, that our Lord decides more company is needed, that our task is completed, and we meet up, again......be at peace, enjoy, and God Bless...
your lil' brother....
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