It won't be long - just ask Col. Reb!

That is in fact an excellent tune Hovis

So today while amidst the cookout at my mother in laws house I was goaded into a conversation similar to this thread. Being the only "Caucasian" person there and them knowing I'm from the south I was basically suckered into a verbal argument where I had zero support for my side/point whatever you'd call it. I got so angry I left and went home. Because my point of view was from a privileged white standing and I had no clue of the hardships of racial inequality. When all I was trying to say was I am disgusted with the media taking this to the nth degree and putting all the emphasis on a flag and not what's really going on. The confederate battle flag didn't inspire that kid to walk into the church and kill 9 African Americans. His values of white superiority weren't learned because of the flag. He didn't claim the south will rise again. He wasn't spouting racial reteric based around a flag.

I'm tired of being from the south and there being an automatic assumption that I'm some backwoods redneck who hates all non whites. The look I get from people when they find out my wife is black and we have kids amazes me. Like I'm not aloud to do so because I'm from Alabama.

Today was the breaking point for me Basically. For my wives family to group me into that profile because I disagreed that this issue went deeper than just a flag pushed me over the top. I'm still at home and don't plan to go back over there. I was cornered and bullied by people who are supposed to be family because of where I'm from and my pride in that.

The terrible part of all this was I actually agreed with them. The media has spun all the emphasis of the killings on a flag and what it in their eyes represents. But what we aren't seeing on the news is that 9 more churches have been burned. That klan rallies are happening in capital cities throughout the south in direct response to states wanting to remove the flag from their state symbols.

Out of frustration right before I left I said "if yall  wanna be mad at someone for what happened be mad at the tribal leaders in Africa that sold your ancestors to the slave traders to begin with. If we're gonna get to the root of the issue let's go all the way back to where it actually started"

HovisPresley wrote on 07/04/15 at 19:37:50:


Please explain

Yeah, Rylee, you're obviously a racist. Why else would you marry ...
Ohh well, I don't know anything about them, hopefully, cooler heads will prevail and someone will call to talk..
I know you were factually correct, based on what you said.
Sometimes that's the worst thing. Wanna Really piss someone off? Point out facts...

So I'm guessing I got something along the lines of an apology today via email. Most of it seemed like a scripted response. And I'm sure spell check was in full force because coming from my wife's brother as bad as it may sound the grammar in the email was well above his education level. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say his wife wrote it on his behalf. The only true apologetic aspect of the email was for including me in the conversation to begin with. No apology for what followed. And I honestly felt as if I was being asked to respond with my own apology for telling them if they wanna blame someone for slavery blame the tribal leaders who sold them to slave traders to begin with.

My wife has said nothing about the happenings of the day and I'm kinda glad. Life went on as usual and we've steered away from the subject all together. It's a lesson learned. Don't let yourself be pulled into a conversation where the opposing side know you stand alone in your opinion on the details. Especially when it's 1 against many!

Rylee wrote on 07/07/15 at 00:00:21:


God Bless you Rylee, you're in a rough spot. Dealing with the families of spouses is rough enough sometimes without adding race into the mix.

My niece is married to a man from Haiti (he was one of her professors in school....)  and my brother is a hard core racist SOB. (I would argue with reason but that's for another day...) You can imagine the fun that is sometimes.....Black-white and now add all the differences from the Haitian culture into the mix...wow...

The pastor at my church is a black man married to a white woman. Absolutely wonderful people, love them to death, they would do anything for anybody, but can tell stories of the crap they go through sometimes.

Good luck. Remember, you married her, not them!

Let me start by saying sorry for jacking this tbread . And secondly thanks for all the kind words.

The argument I was drug into to be honest looking back on it was quite amusing. Her family is actually not that bad. And they are supporters of interracial relationships. So I don't get any crap on that part. The boiling point for me in the whole endeavor was the terms "privileged white male" and how that swayed my viewpoint. The reason that was so amusing to me is because her entire family dating back generations before her is very prominent. My wife for instance for a lack of better terms is whiter than I am. All of them we're raised in multi parent homes of whom both held high paying professional jobs. They all grew up in upper middle class to wealthy suburban neighborhoods.

I kept telling my brother in laws wife to please tell me about her struggles as a black women from her Newport Beach home and her USC education that was discounted because she's an African American. And the poverty she lives daily from her brand new 5 series BMW. Mind you at this point I was aggravated and mearly taking shots at anyone who wanted to keep the conversation going when it was obvious I was no longer compliant.

I talked to my mother in law yesterday and she apologized and it was sincere and for that I'm grateful. She said that Stephenie (yes her name is Stephenie ) was out of line and it should have been stopped long before it reached the point it did. Her having been born and raised in Texas she understood that the flag is a symbol of heritage to most and that is it's true meaning to most southerners. She also commended me for approaching a discussion that I knew was going to turn ugly from a fact based standpoint and not just giving "my opinion"  she also reiterated what I just said stating that no one present had ever really suffered serious injustice because of the color of their skin all of them having come from well raised prominent families. She went on to say she was a bit upset with her son because he was raised better than that and should have put his wife who incedentaly had an even better upbringing in check sooner so it would not of reached the point it did.

I've heard so many Mother in Law jokes... I dearly loved mine. Sounds like you got yourself a fine one, Rylee. People who fight to win, regardless of what is ethically, morally, honestly true, are jackasses. Like the kids at school, playing touch football, cheating, " winning " the game, heading in to the gym, jumping, hollering, jubilant in their " victory ".

Chikkenshit,, no honor, not wanting the truth, just wanting to beat someone down, so they can justify an unfounded attitude..
I hope you hear from those who owe you an apology.