Too late:
Broke an easy out in the bolt drove the piece farther in, chipped away at what was left of the outer portion of the bolt. Should have drilled a bigger hole, but it probably would have broke anyway. Then Dad tried to torch it. Discouraged, I told him that I ought to take it to a machine shop but that I'd go ahead and be a fool and let him destroy it for me. Well, obviously, it didn't work. Melted some of the head. Should still be salvageable, though. Emotionally exhausted, I just had enough left in me to drill a little on it. I feel almost like the torch made the steel even harder. I gave up.
Since I got the carb jets today, I tried to work on Dad's Shadow and get it ready to ride as that'll probably be the only thing left for me. Got everything back together but couldn't find the rubber gas tank bushings, The gas tank will drive you crazy as it has no fuel shutoff, there are two fuel lines, and gas is wholesale dumped all over the ground.Dad was there to help me. Then it kept leaking. Then we gave up when we found that the fuel line tore. Above that, the gas can spout leaked so badly it was useless. Had to take it off and pour freehand.
I failed on my bike, and so I thought I would make a last ditch effort to redeem myself with the other one. I failed to succeed then too. I was past mild frustration.
I was left demoralized. Ever get the feeling that any skill or occupation you try to learn discourages you, and just as soon as you get enough courage to try again; just as soon as you start to make a little progress, It kicks you in the balls, bashes your head against the ground, kicks dirt in your eyes, spits on you, gives you the finger, says f you, and walks off?
It's like you get so stubbornly determined to succeed at a task that you get stupid and punch a brick wall with all your might with the faith that you'll somehow break the wall. What else am I supposed to do, surrender to the brick wall, or die trying to break it?
I tried to be independent and fix something myself. I didn't like to hire it done. I'm too cheap, in a way. I want to get good at it and do it myself and save money. Hiring people to do stuff these days costs way too much money. It's self-esteem too. Some people can screw up and lose money and it doesn't bother them. I'm different. It tends to affect my self worth. If I spend too much on this bike and can't make it worth more, then it's like my labor is worthless, and that doesn't reflect good on how much I'm worth. Remember, I work minimum wage.
And as far as the dummy that broke it off... It was me. What else was I supposed to do? I guess I could have just kept running it, but then I could never have pulled any service on anything on the right side, if you know what I mean. Maybe I should have run it until the cam adjuster fell off and the engine broke or the clutch stopped gripping, and just thrown away the whole bike.
It was a bit consoling to read that most of these threads suggest that no common man could succeed at the job anyway. Maybe I'm not a worthless POS after all.
The Savage is down until I can either get a replacement head or get someone to repair what's left of the one I have.
Having read that I'm going to have to pull the motor, I'm kind of laughing right now. A cherry on top of this catastrophe ice cream. It's almost like a consolation. I'm confused. With what I've been through, pulling the motor seems less hurtful to me than ruining the head. I'm not sure what to think or say right now. I have to get up early in the morning to take my Dad to the Hospital for heart surgery... yeah... well, at least a heart cath, but who knows what they're liable to do while they're in there.
Good night.