Years ago I bought a small vice for a drill press. It has a jaw that clamps the piece, and it has handles and threaded rods to move the vice in two directions. I have kept the directions....as they are so funny. They claim the "original vise" is inferior....and that their "Patent Pending One" is far superior....as follows:
ORIGINAL VISE
Usually, the vice is fixed on sliding-piece with screws. Then, the movable jaw of the vice can be moved forward and backward. The disadvantages of this kind of fixation are:
1. If the screws were over-tighten, the motion of the movable jaw was difficult.
2. If the screws were too slack, tilt-over or unsteady-tighten will be occured when workpiece was fixed on the vice.
Due to defects described above, the workpiece would have not been kept very firmly and steadily. Therefore, in machining operation process, cutting tool might be broken, workpiece might be threw out and other unexpected risk could be happened.
PATENT PENDING ONE
Through delicated researchment and development for several years, we have developed a totally new model of vice to overcome the bottle-neck problems. "FIXATION WITH ZERO PROBLEM" (FZP) - Bypass the conventional sliding-piece type. FZP Vice uses the slide-bar type instead. FZP Vice have advantages as follows:
1) The axial sleeve and movable jaw are casted in one single piece.
2) Parallelism between the central bar and sliding surface is 0.05mm, so it can assure the parallelism and smooth.
3. Allowance between the axial sleeve and slide bar is 0.05mm.
4. The slide bar is held by the axial sleeve with O-shaped. In other words, in a 360 degree surface contact condition the possibility of deformation would be zero. Because of the impact pressure is applied to the whole circular surface around the slide bar.
5. The spherical contact surface between the slide bar with movable jaw will make sure the workpiece is fixed firmly and steadily with no tilt -over.
6. During in machining process, the workpiece was so tightly and firmly fixed that one will obtain a great deal of effects on its production lines.
I sure wish I could have "Fixations with Zero Problems".....