It's been quite a while since my last post or visit to the Forum, yet by no means out of lack of interest or spite, not at all.
Friday, 17 July I was involved in the worst motorcycle accident I ever had - in some ways, the second in my M/C career.
I was commuting down one of Rome's busiest freeways during the busiest part of Fri morning rush hour... riding my 260Kg BMW (which I prefer to the Savage as it is quicker, faster and with much more powerful brakes) I noticed with the side of nmy eyes there was a gap tin the lane to my left, the guy in front of me was driving slower than traffic conditions demanded, so I cast a quick glance in the rear view mirror to see if I could change lanes in full safety...
...that was when I heard tires screeching and before you know it I shot into the air, felt the hard trunk case slam into my back, somersaulted into outerspace, and when I came to I was lying on my back, screaming for the pain in my back, and abslolutety, hopelòessy breathless.
I mean, I was gasping for air like a train had hit me in my solar plexus but the PAIN ...
Traffic inched around me, quite a few good samaritans stopped to help (one was a cardiologist who had just stood down from his hospital night shift) as well as a Police car which had just merged behind me (Police meaning LEOs are not "Traffic Police" in Italy, they are two different Agencies) The LEO ensured ... asked the doctor if he thought I was OK, the answer was "he claims severe back pains, I'm not moving him, call an ambulance"
In a short while (don't ask me how long, it could have been minutes, it could have been a week...) the Traffic wardens came, and no less than TWO ambulances (one hailed from the LEO, one hailed from the Traffic Wardens as standard protocol) I was whisked away by ambulance on the hardest, stiffest, most uncomfortable kind of stretcher I ever imagined (standard protocol for back injuries, I later learned) I had a neck brace and couldn't see a thing other than the ceiling of the ambulance. First ambulance ride in my life, ever.
I asked where they were taking me - "Gemelli" was the answer, which comforted me.
Not only was it the closest at hand, but "Gemelli University Hospital" is actually one the Vatican's three hospitals in Rome and the one annexed to the "Università Cattolica" - one of the best Schools of Medicine in Europe, period.
The Pope goes there, all Italian politicians go there, and quite a few foreign politicians as well (to start with, all diplomats go there)
So, I felt comforted... a little...
It felt like a TV reality show. My previous ER experience was limited to silly things - driving my boy to hospital for road rash from falling off his bike, severe ear aches, the like; the kind of "no hazard to life" category where you copuld wait anything frmo an hour to... too long...
Not thjis time: by the time the crew pulled me out of the ambulance, two staff carted me beyond glass doors into what feltr so much like "2001 A Space Odissey" - cool white neons blazing, very chilly air conditioning at full blast, and four (FOUR!) guys "servicing" me:
- one was feeling my feet, legs, arms and hands asking if I had any specific pain when he pressed or pulled or twisted, no pain, thank you,
but my back hurts...
- one was going up and down my abdomen with an unltrasound (to which I joked "is it a boy or a girl?"- they all laughed, "good sign you have a sense of humor, I'm checking to see if you have any internal bleeding") No internal bleeding, no internal pain
BUT MY BACK HURTS...
- one was slowly undressing me pulling off everything I was wearing, leaving me in my underwear... "does it hurt when I move your arm?"
NO THANK YOU BUT MY BACK HURTS!
- One was playing "stick the tail on the donkey" by trying to hit a vein with the IV needle and succeeding perhaps on his 3rd, 4th, 5th try...
AND MY BACK STILL HURTS !!!
So tghey whisked me away to ER Radiology (the room next door) where an extremely kind (and quite pretty) lady tut-tutted they had mauled my elbows but still failed to find a decent vein, she was going to replace the needle and perform a CAT Scan with contrasting liquid...
...whatever that was...
So I was fed into the Mother of all Canned Tuna processing machines, which obviously wasn't working because after all the lights, noises, clicking and chirping and lightning and thunder (not to mention the burning sensation in my eyeballs and ... other parts of myself
when the contrasting liquid was injected...) by the time I came out I was still in my underwear and no Knight in Shininh Armor Tunacan coat for me!
Seriously, folks, that whole process, from the time I was "handed over" from the ambulance paramedics to the time I was told "Sir, the good news is you have two broken thumbs" must have been less than 60'...
OK, two broken thumbs, Hitchhiker of the Galaxy, eat your hear out!
But...
The bad news..."Sir, the bad news is you have three broken vertebrae"
OK
THE NEWS
HIT ME
IN THE STOMACH
LIKE A CANNON BALL
WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING
"You mean... like
you'll be sitting in a wheelchair and all that?"
"Oh, goodness, no, if you can move your hands and feet you'll be fine!"
"H3ll, you want to see me do the moonwalk? I'll do the moonwalk, just fix... the ... pain..."
That was it, the pain... I could just barely breathe, finally got them to remove the neck brace (only after the CAT scan revealed I had no neck injuries) and added a painkiller of sorts to the IV drip (just plain saline solution to keep me hydrated)
To make a long story short... I spent a good 36 hours in the ER, with a spinal orthopaedic surgeon checking on me every 6 hours or so "move this, wiggle that, where does it hurt, how does it hurt?"
They were all young doctors, Interns, but it was nice to have someone wake you up in the middle of the night just to ask
"are you sleeping?"
So... I was discharged / released frmo hospital saturday evening, with two "tutors" on my hands (like casts, but in heavy gauge cordura and steel inserts) and a steel back brace which I am still wearing as you read this.
The bike... was a total write off... not that she was badly damaged... but the damage she did suffer was all on the front forl (BMW Telelever) and the auxiliary aluminium subchassis that link that to the main steel frame; moreover, the steering head was declared out of alignment.
So, all in all, replacing the broken parts and realigning the steering head was going to cost me the very price of an identical bike, 2nd hand, undamaged.
So long, my friend...