PVC pipe, tarps, build a little shed, wire it with whatever. Bust a wire, trip a relay, fire an air horn,,

Don't street park anything you're that attached to. They are pretty much useless except for annoying people. I'd be more worried about someone kicking my bike over out of frustration because of a false alarm that woke them up (they are very common here and people get very annoyed at them) than I'd be confident they'd actually stop a thief/vandal.

The whole shock thing sounds more likely to kill a stray dog than knock out a robber. And then your bike will smell like dead dog and burnt fur, and you'll have killed Lassie.

Rent a garage, find a few other bike guys in the neighborhood and share the cost if you don't have enough money  

I'm all about sittin' and thinking up goofy stuff that actually works. Parking next to a cross-tie with a hole or two drilled through with a rigged attaching rod and a "hidden" padlock is way too much trouble for a doper. A cheap JC Whitney motion alarm would finish the deal. Or use a front wheel chock attached to an anchored sheet of plywood. Just lock the wheel to the chock. Or---can you get radioactive material at your WalMart?  

I bought the Xena disc lock with motion-triggered alarm. The salesman told me that they are OK if you can hear it and react (I use it at the office parking lot), but thieves have a very simple solution: they put a bucket full of insulation foam over the lock, put the front wheel on a skateboard, and off they go.

There is a great thread about bike security on reddit, written by a former motorcycle thief:http://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/t5shp/ex_thief_chopshop_operator....

I´m not worried about the professionals - as you said, if they want it, there´s nothing I can do. It´s them vandals, moped/scooter thieves and the rest of the misfits I want to deter. Lately, they have been seen with a 1,6m bolt shearer. They whacked my Vespa´s ABUS Kryptonite padlock in just a pinch. And that one had 14mm hardened steel to cut through. And then there´s the drunks who think my seat is a suitable platform for launching fireworks and firecrackers....idiots. The XENA lock looks promising, if it can deliver a loud enough sound. Combined with a hidden second alarm of the cheapo chinese type...would probably be good. I´ll keep looking. Thanks for the tips, also "the not-so-clever /dangerous to the public" ones

Get a pellet gun,,just a pistol is enough,,, 2 or 3 strokes & POW,,blue jeans will (probably) stop it, or get a paintball gun! Heeeeck YEA! They sting like the dickens, pose no real threat AND Mark the perps!