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School stabbing (Read 274 times)
arteacher
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #15 - 04/27/14 at 09:10:14
 
Here are some references for you. Keep in mind that you have to apply a more generic definition of conservatism and liberalism than a political one.

http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/effects-having-strict-parents-te

http://answers.mheducation.com/psychology/branches/lifespan-psychology/socioe...
Look at the chapters starting with freedom and control

http://www.ffri.hr/~ibrdar/komunikacija/seminari/Caughlin,%202004%20-%20Commu...
Look at the chapter on Demand/withdrawal


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arteacher
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #16 - 04/27/14 at 09:12:39
 
raydawg wrote on 04/27/14 at 07:57:13:
You, as a counselor, this prejudice scares me:
They almost always suffer from a poor self image, which almost always is caused by conservative viewpoints on the part of society as a whole, and/or parents with conservative views. -ie"You CAN"T  be gay- I won't allow it." (I actually heard a parent say that to a teenage girl during a parent conference.)

I know firsthand that a very close couple we know, very liberal, talked greatly of tolerance, often deriding folk who held Gay marriage is for heterosexuals, labeling them as one might expect in this PC world.
Well, their grandson announced he was Gay, she went into depression, having to seek help with her feelings, the granddad shuns him altogether.

My wife's brother was Gay (he died of AIDS). Her parents only vote democrat, espousing all the talking points they get from the mainstream media. His relationship with his folks was so strained he had to move away.
Again, the dad, a former DI in the marines, held him in contempt, even to the point of accusing him of denying him a son. The mother never talked about him to anybody, it was as if he didn't exist.
It was years later that some of the relatives learned of his passing, for they wouldn't even tell them of this, for the fear they would find out
he died of AIDS.
I had many long talks with him, trying to understand "gayness" in a manner where I might be more enlightened. I am better for it, and it has lent me greater understanding into how diverse all of us are in our thinking/beliefs.

And if memory serves me correctly I think Cher had issues with Chasity to the point where she moved in with Sonny, who accepted her as she was.....  

Honestly, you scare me with such assertion, sorry pal.

How does this NOT support my statement?
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arteacher
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #17 - 04/27/14 at 09:15:38
 
WebsterMark wrote on 04/27/14 at 06:07:27:
arteacher wrote on 04/26/14 at 17:01:02:
Come on Webstermark..... explain why you think it is bull.


Are you going to sit there with a straight face and try to tell me the troubled kids are there ALMOST ALWAYS because of conservative values in parenting? If that's really your point of view, that's one of the dumber things I've read on here and that includes the recent inclusion of "Ms. North County" and "her" nonsense......  How about you come up with some documentation for that. I think I'll throw a second flag until you come up with something real to back that up; 5 yard penalty for intent to deceive....



OK, OK, I will soften the "almost always"with relation to conservatism  to "quite frequently", and reiterate that this is only among the parents who actually care.
....and go and get a job working with these kids day after day and then come back and slam my opinions.
Not empirical evidence, but ALMOST ALL of my colleagues agree with this. (I can't think of one who doesn't, but there must be one.)
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« Last Edit: 04/27/14 at 13:26:22 by arteacher »  

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Re: School stabbing
Reply #18 - 04/27/14 at 09:33:18
 
arteacher wrote on 04/27/14 at 09:12:39:
raydawg wrote on 04/27/14 at 07:57:13:
You, as a counselor, this prejudice scares me:
They almost always suffer from a poor self image, which almost always is caused by conservative viewpoints on the part of society as a whole, and/or parents with conservative views. -ie"You CAN"T  be gay- I won't allow it." (I actually heard a parent say that to a teenage girl during a parent conference.)

I know firsthand that a very close couple we know, very liberal, talked greatly of tolerance, often deriding folk who held Gay marriage is for heterosexuals, labeling them as one might expect in this PC world.
Well, their grandson announced he was Gay, she went into depression, having to seek help with her feelings, the granddad shuns him altogether.

My wife's brother was Gay (he died of AIDS). Her parents only vote democrat, espousing all the talking points they get from the mainstream media. His relationship with his folks was so strained he had to move away.
Again, the dad, a former DI in the marines, held him in contempt, even to the point of accusing him of denying him a son. The mother never talked about him to anybody, it was as if he didn't exist.
It was years later that some of the relatives learned of his passing, for they wouldn't even tell them of this, for the fear they would find out
he died of AIDS.
I had many long talks with him, trying to understand "gayness" in a manner where I might be more enlightened. I am better for it, and it has lent me greater understanding into how diverse all of us are in our thinking/beliefs.

And if memory serves me correctly I think Cher had issues with Chasity to the point where she moved in with Sonny, who accepted her as she was.....  

Honestly, you scare me with such assertion, sorry pal.

How does this NOT support my statement?


How can you blame it on conservatives being the core reason?

Self esteem is a character trait based on a whole host of reasons.

Your declaration based upon your observation of one incident is akin to me saying the folk I take clothes and food to living in the streets (homeless) are liberal because they blame conservatives for the resulting predicament of their situation, never once connecting the dots of drug and alcohol usage and weak will to their woes....

Again, sorry, its not that simple.
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“The biggest big business in America is not steel, automobiles, or television. It is the manufacture, refinement and distribution of anxiety.”—Eric Sevareid (1964)
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arteacher
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #19 - 04/27/14 at 09:39:14
 
Of course it's not that simple, and I did not intend for it to be. I was illustrating my point, not painting the whole issue the same colour.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #20 - 04/28/14 at 05:33:22
 
if the point being made is conservative thinking causes these problems, I would say hogwash.. maybe I'm not getting the point to this thread?
I'm listening  Undecided
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arteacher
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #21 - 04/28/14 at 10:42:53
 
The point I am defending is that conservative, closed minded parenting has a lot to do with teenagers having low self esteem, which has a lot to do with their anti-social behavior.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #22 - 04/28/14 at 11:09:24
 
AHHH, Now we have it, Conservatives are "close minded" while the Liberals are willing to say "Thats fine, son, if you want to be that way, thats fine.",,
Self esteem is a product of being successful in accomplishing things & being socially accepted. Being socially accepted is very important, I wasnt, for many reasons,, Of course theres the Spiritual aspect of self esteem. If one KNOWS in their heart they are wrong in the eyes of the Lord, then true happiness wont exist, there will always be an empty spot. I know about that one, personally, too.
Having parents who demand isnt bad, in & of itself. Unreasonable demands, OTOH, will crush a kid. I also have first hand knowledge there.
NO direction, no consequences, everything is good may allow a kid in school to feel okay about themselves, but where do they go after that?
Its OKAY to have a low self esteem,, thats the natural result of failure & IS the motivating factor to drive people to achieve. I know about that one, too,,
Explain to me WHY a kid, who has actually never accomplished anything other than pass tests at school is Supposed to feel so great about themselves? At that point in life theyre basically UNtested by lifes real challenges & have actually accomplished nothing unless maybe theyre an academic standout or maybe excelling in some other area, sports, or maybe being a volunteer at an old folks home or sports maybe, but the Overwhelming Majority of school age kids havent done SQUAT to Earn anything more than a mediocre level of self esteem. Unearned self esteem is nothing more than conceit.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #23 - 04/28/14 at 11:35:47
 
arteacher wrote on 04/28/14 at 10:42:53:
The point I am defending is that conservative, closed minded parenting has a lot to do with teenagers having low self esteem, which has a lot to do with their anti-social behavior.

Whether or not you're close minded has nothing to do with which side of the fence you reside.  If nothing else, the Tall Table should be evidence enough to convince you of that.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #24 - 04/28/14 at 12:43:41
 
Noun: conservative - a person who is reluctant to accept changes and new ideas.
A teenager's life is all about changes and new ideas. Parents who ignore this or more so, actively oppose this, cause low self esteem.
The case I quoted earlier is about a teen girl from an upper middle class family, who when she was 15 or so went to her parents and told them she was gay. They told her she was not allowed to be gay, and that if she persisted in claiming that she was, would be kicked out of the house.
She persisted and was kicked out. In her rage she crashed a farm vehicle into the barn. Her parents then had her arrested, declared incompetent,  and froze her assets. (money she had saved over the years working on the farm-quite a bit of money). She is smart but was doing increasingly less well in school,  her self esteem had taken some pretty severe hits, and her life was a mess. I often wonder how she turned out. She did have the clandestine support of her brother. I hope it helped.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #25 - 04/28/14 at 12:50:19
 
Thats the definition Applied. Being unwilling to accept as Good that which clearly is not is a Conservative idea. Liberals label good that which is not good & expect others to go along & they pretend that those who judge the proposed changes & push against them are just stodgy , hateful, bitter clingers. History supports the Conservative ideas as having been better for society on the whole, I cant see where the liberal agendas application has benefited us any. Society is crumbling morally, it aint the Conservatives fault,
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #26 - 04/28/14 at 12:56:09
 
A teenager's life is all about changes and new ideas. Parents who ignore this or more so, actively oppose this, cause low self esteem.

and parents who allow the child to pursue every idea and change produces adults who have never grown up. Hence we get a law that redefines 'childhood' to be 26 in the case of the healthcare law.

Classic case is down the street from me a set of parents who could never say no to their 3 children. 2 have been thru rehab, only 1 finished high school and moved in with a man 20 years older than her which predictably ended badly. Another set of parents literally let their daughter 'experiment' with any idea that struck her fancy. Now after 6 years of college pursuing useless degrees, they are in debt up to their a$$ and have a 25 year old child utterly incapable of maintain focus on anything.

Extreme liberalism is just as bad, if not worse, than extreme conservatism. For every gay horror story you come up with, I can match you with 2 to 1 on the other side.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #27 - 04/28/14 at 13:21:19
 
I had to look this up because I thought I'd read this somewhere but wasn't sure. Remember the teenager who was suing her parents for college tuition after she went to live with a friend? Yea, that's the one.... snotty little spoiled rotten brat.....  anyway, here's a quote from her father:

To quote her father, Sean Canning:

“I’m a liberal, liberal parent,” he said. “I wish I could have grown up in my house. I was tougher on my cops at work than I’ve ever been at my home, that’s for sure.”

so, he did exactly what you are suggesting is a good idea....

Children are called children for a reason. They don't know everything,  they don't understand how the world works, they have limited perspective, they are immature.. etc.....  They need serious and responsible parents who take their roles of RAISING their child up responsibly.

I'll back off my claim a bit and say I don't know which political ideology tends to produce the worst children because I don't believe it's the parents fault many times. Sometimes a bad kid is just a bad kid. Nothing anyone could do about it other than God I guess. Now, I think if there is a bad kid who could be turned around, I tend to believe the conservative parent has a better chance than the liberal parent of getting that child thru to adulthood with the most skills to succeed on their own.
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #28 - 04/28/14 at 13:54:18
 
My use of the word "conservative" has nothing, or very little to do with politics.
IF you believe it does, then we are talking oranges and apples here, and the discussion will go on forever.
Certainly a house with no rules (your definition of liberal?) is dangerous to the bringing up of a teen, although I have seen exceptional teens overcome this, usually with some help (teachers and/or peers). These kids , somehow, somewhere, were taught how to feel good about themselves, and clung to that knowledge when the chips were down.
I firmly believe that parents with liberal views are better at teaching that magic (how to feel good about yourself) than those with conservative views. I have seen it time and time again.

As Forest Gump said  "..... and that's all I'me going to say about THAT!"
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Re: School stabbing
Reply #29 - 04/28/14 at 14:33:18
 
OMG.. now we need to let the kids do whatever they want.. you know they might become murderers or rapists if we conservatize them with our closed minded yee-haw smart making  Undecided

I was really hoping that's not where you were going with this hogwash
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