Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting -- even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reebok's and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an over-sized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's--all here!!

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"

Author Unknown

So you forgot to give your biker buddy a gift…..did ya?
Well it’s not too late to run out and get something today and maybe it will be cheaper because it is after Christmas.

Here are a few helpful suggestions.

1. Tire Air Change Kit. This kit comes with everything you need to
change the air in your tires. This highly recommended but often
overlooked maintenance item is much easier now. Remember to change
your air every 3000 miles or twice a year. $25

2. Turn Signal Blinker Fluid. You knew it existed but, WOW, is this stuff hard to find.  4oz bottle. $12

3. Synthetic Blinker Fluid. Better yet! 4oz bottle. $24

4. Light Bulb Filaments. Why throw away a perfectly good turn signal
or stop light bulb when you can just install a new filament? Premium
Filaments, made in the USA! $1 ea. (Note –headlight filaments cost more because they are bigger)

5. Exhaust Pipe Heat. Yes, your exhaust pipe should be HOT. If it's
not, you may need this item. Sold by the pound. $3.50

6. Gasket Gaskets. Does your bike suffer from leaking gaskets? If so your gaskets may need gaskets. All SIZES available! Email for specific
application. From $9.99 or so.

7. Chain Tensioner. Is your chain limp? Tension it with C-50! Only $14.99

8. Alternator Batteries. Generator Batteries also available From $29.99

9. DriveBelt Buckles. Specify brass or chrome. Gold available special
order. Starting at $14.99

10. Muffler Bearing Manual. Print version $59.95

11. Muffler Bearing Manual. CD version $49.99

12. Universal Muffler Bearing Tool Kit $105.59

13. Muffler Bearing Hi Temp Synthetic Lube (the only kind we sell!) $40.24

14. Muffler Bearings From $19.95

15. Muffler Bearing Gasket Kits From $9.99

16. Momentum. (required for tackling some off road obstacles). Sold by
the lb-ft/sec $0.50

17. Microsoft Windows Eliminator. If your bike begins to run poorly, (long time to start, frequent crashes, etc.), it's computer, (ecm,
ecu, black box, etc.), may have become infected with this nasty
computer virus. This product will safely remove the virus. $199 (one free 2 minute call to India Tech Support….translation not included)….NOTE: may not work on bikes without a computer but what the heck…purchase one or more because we need the money.

18. Mirror Image Flipper Film. Did you know that the image you see in
your rear view mirrors are reversed! This is a manufacturing flaw
that the mirror companies have kept secret for years as the recall
would cost BILLIONS! This film can be cut and placed over any mirror
to correct the image. Now you'll be able to read signs in the rear
view mirror! $15 per square ft. Sorry, no refunds will be given.

19. Spoke Soap. Dirty spokes? No Problem with Ajax Spoke Soap. Scrub it on….. allow it to set for a few weeks, then simply scrape it off with a chisel (not included). Only $14.95 for the big bottle and a dollar less for the smaller bottle.

20. Battery Remover – We all know that motorcycle batteries are such a pain to remove. Now there is an easier way….. Simply spray our revolutionary product on your battery….. stand back using care not to breathe the fumes….and watch as your battery melts away. WARNING: Care should be given not to allow this product to drip on to paint, metal, rubber, wiring, floors or driveways, or any other surface. If product comes in contact with skin or is swallowed.... Call the Coroner.

21. Magic Motorcycle Cleaner Cloth – Formerly sold as Scam Wow, but that never panned out so we are re-introducing this amazing rag under a new name. Hurry supplies are limited to the multiple millions we failed to sell the first time. Only $9.95 plus shipping.

22. Motorcycle Seat Belts. Are you tired of falling off your motorcycle  at speedbumps,  stoplights, and after long hours of partying without sleep? We have the answer…..Our easy to install Biker Belts with optional random inflating Airbags. (signed Legal Waiver required with payment).

23. Handle Bar Nut. Is your bike handling erratic? Are you finding yourself doing insane stunts and damaging your bike? It just might be the nut behind the handle bars. Send $99 along with a signed notarized title to your motorcycle to my temporary post office box. Allow 6-8 weeks before looking for me. Hurry! Do it today!