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HUMOR (jokes and such!) (Read 13690 times)
batman
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #915 - 03/21/19 at 12:11:52
 
Spring is here! I got so excited ,I wet my plants!
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Reply #916 - 03/31/19 at 16:47:19
 
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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #917 - 05/07/19 at 07:04:18
 
I was out riding on a local curvy road a couple days ago, and I met 3 young women at a local rest stop area.  Two of the women were riding sport bikes, 1 woman was riding a supermoto.......all 3 of them were wearing leather track suits/boots and they appear to be aggressive riders.

The woman on the Supermoto seems to have a good sense of humor, and evidently she really enjoys riding!

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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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Reply #918 - 05/07/19 at 14:40:32
 
That's hilarious.
And brave.
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #919 - 05/29/19 at 15:08:43
 
So, I found a radio for a dollar at a yard sale the other day.  The tag said the volume was stuck on full...



I couldn't turn it down
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justin_o_guy2
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #920 - 05/29/19 at 19:09:42
 
You and everyone else
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Reply #921 - 06/15/19 at 23:34:57
 
rise-shine-20151118-10.jpg
***
The Saturday Night Joke

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?”

His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape, with firm legs, a strong chest, and a solid rump before I put good money down.”

Larry, looking worried said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.

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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #922 - 06/23/19 at 04:07:02
 
The weather has been awful here the last few weeks, and the rain has made it difficult to get the yard mowed.

Some folks have resorted to getting the front yard cut - but letting the back yard grow long.

This is now referred to as a:

Lawn Mullet.

Grin
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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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justin_o_guy2
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #923 - 06/23/19 at 08:28:15
 
That's funny.

I've got places that haven't been mowed in months.
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #924 - 06/23/19 at 17:45:37
 
v-pilot wrote on 05/29/19 at 15:08:43:
So, I found a radio for a dollar at a yard sale the other day.  The tag said the volume was stuck on full...



I couldn't turn it down


I read a book on anti-gravity, I just can't put it down.   Roll Eyes
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #925 - 06/23/19 at 19:40:14
 
Matchless G11 wrote on 06/23/19 at 17:45:37:
v-pilot wrote on 05/29/19 at 15:08:43:
So, I found a radio for a dollar at a yard sale the other day.  The tag said the volume was stuck on full...

I couldn't turn it down


I read a book on anti-gravity, I just can't put it down.   Roll Eyes


For some lite reading, I picked up a book on helium.
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Reply #926 - 06/25/19 at 16:48:16
 
What's the difference between an old vaccum and a motorcycle?


Location of the dirtbag.
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #927 - 07/18/19 at 06:38:59
 
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #928 - 07/19/19 at 20:36:14
 
Two older gentlemen, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.


The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.




He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"


She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."


She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."


The old man says to himself, I can't believe everybody knows about this but me.
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #929 - 08/04/19 at 10:51:08
 
Bill returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Bill asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?'

Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please - just one more time before I die ?'

She says, 'Of course, dear.' And they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over & falls asleep. Bill , however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey , I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could....?'

At this point the wife rolls over and says, 'Listen Bill , I have to get up in the morning... you don't.
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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