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Drifter

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joke
09/21/12 at 06:55:19

Drunk guy falls off his bar stool makes his way to the restroom a few minutes later the bartender hears a loud yell....thinks a minute old drunk ryan went in there so he figures he fell down or something....a few more minutes go by and he hears the yell again...so this time he goes in to check what is going on and asks why are you yelling......old ryan says every time i flush something comes up and bites my balls....bartender shakes his head and says you idiot your sitting on the mop bucket...... Roll Eyes

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thumperclone

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Grand Junction Colorado
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Re: joke
Reply #1 - 09/21/12 at 07:14:51

A gynecologist decides to change professions. So he goes to mechanics school. He got the results back from his first test and his score was 150%. He didn't understand that. After class he went to the instructor and asked him "how did I get 150%?" The instructor said "You got 50% for tearing the engine apart properly, you got 50% for putting it back together properly and you got a 50% bonus for doing it all through the muffler!"

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standing for those who stood for US

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mpescatori Serious Thumper Offline Romanum Thumperium Cavalco, yeaaah !!! Posts: 3547 Rome, Italy Gender:	Re: joke Reply #2 - 09/21/12 at 08:48:20 Aw, c'mon, Officer, all I had was some fruit juice !
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mpescatori Serious Thumper Offline Romanum Thumperium Cavalco, yeaaah !!! Posts: 3547 Rome, Italy Gender:	Re: joke Reply #3 - 09/21/12 at 08:57:27
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arteacher

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Posts: 2581
London ontario
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Re: joke
Reply #4 - 09/21/12 at 16:44:38

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he
glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As Fate
would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out: "Business trip, or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual
Nymphomaniacs of America convention, in Boston. "

Struggling to maintain his composure, he asked, "What's your
business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer", she responded. "I use my wide range of personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?", he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men
are the most well-endowed, when in fact, it is the Native
American man who is most likely to possess that trait."

"Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when
it's actually men of Jewish descent who are the best."

"I have also discovered that the lovers with absolutely the best stamina
are the Southern Rednecks."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable, and blushed. "I'm
sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing all of this with
you. I don't even know your name..."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein...but my friends call me Bubba."

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white '07, Raask exh, Corbin seat, slipstreamer shie, Raptor, Routy's fwd controls, Baron tach, Frisco bars, Isogrips, Headlight and taillight modulators, Dial-a- jet, AME 9 deg chop kit, K&N air flt

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Gyrobob Serious Thumper Offline Posers ain't motorcyclists Posts: 2571 Newnan, GA Gender:	Re: joke Reply #5 - 09/21/12 at 19:16:33 There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who cannot.
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arteacher Serious Thumper Offline Ride as if your naked and invisable! Posts: 2581 London ontario Gender:	Re: joke Reply #6 - 09/22/12 at 04:44:33 Gyrobob wrote on 09/21/12 at 19:16:33: There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who cannot. That actually took me a few minutes to get.
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Charon Serious Thumper Offline Posts: 1811 Harvard, NE Gender:	Re: joke Reply #7 - 09/23/12 at 06:01:11 There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who do not.
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Serowbot YaBB Moderator ModSquad Offline OK.... so what's the speed of dark? Posts: 28651 Tucson Az Gender:	Re: joke Reply #8 - 09/23/12 at 08:52:39 arteacher wrote on 09/22/12 at 04:44:33: Gyrobob wrote on 09/21/12 at 19:16:33: There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who cannot. That actually took me a few minutes to get. .. and those who count,... ...slowly... ...
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arteacher

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Ride as if your
naked and invisable!

Posts: 2581
London ontario
Gender: male

Re: joke
Reply #9 - 09/24/12 at 05:10:01

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

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white '07, Raask exh, Corbin seat, slipstreamer shie, Raptor, Routy's fwd controls, Baron tach, Frisco bars, Isogrips, Headlight and taillight modulators, Dial-a- jet, AME 9 deg chop kit, K&N air flt

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rl153 Serious Thumper Offline S40 Just right! Posts: 906 Bloomfield,CT Gender:	Re: joke Reply #10 - 09/24/12 at 07:21:42 I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,than a frontal labotomy!
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ZAR Serious Thumper Offline Rock this town! Rock it inside out! Posts: 961 Kentucky, USA Gender:	Re: joke Reply #11 - 09/24/12 at 20:24:02 What is the difference between golf and sex? In sex, finishing the game in fewer strokes is a bad thing!
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MiCTLaN Full Member Offline O_o Posts: 148 Winter Haven, FL	Re: joke Reply #12 - 09/24/12 at 20:47:55 Charon wrote on 09/23/12 at 06:01:11: There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who do not. There are two kinds of people. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
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