Yeah, I also wouldn't allow myself a g/f all throughout school, due to intense study (read: was socially inept, could not get g/f). But then about 1995 I got desperate and clinged to one that was beautiful but not quite right. She was also a clingy dipshit so it sorta worked out.. married for 4 years, divorced.. then I "did not allow myself" a g/f for 2 years after that, ha ha.. actually, that time it was wise to hold off and get my act together. So then I started seeing a girl I knew from my hometown, married her in 2004 and now have 2 good kids.
Throughout each alone and together period, the grass was often greener. I am able to make myself perfectly happy, and miserable, in either situation. It is not quite "all in the mind" but is very much in the mind. Any time a failure occurred, a breakup, rejection or whatever, that was the worst. But I am glad that I had the hard lessons, because without them I would not have what I have now AND appreciate it.
Overall, for me the scale of most miserable to happiest is:
1. Alone, looking with no success, and no real projects going on. No "life"
2. With a good-enough person to stay with (because you're not busy and have nothing better going on) but annoyed with the person/ it aint right.
3. Alone, not looking and busy with other projects
4. With the right person, but not busy
5. With the right person and busy
Ramble, ramble ramble. Isn't this woman adorable? (not mine)