Stimpy - FSO
Serious Thumper
Offline
SuzukisSavage Int'l Division
Posts: 1203
Germany - formerly SD, SoCal
Gender: 
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
cause he's a fictional character. It's not supposed to make any sense.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
cause we think that it's a contact problem rather than low batteries
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
cause we're stupid and keep paying these fees instead of dumping our banks for local ones
What is the speed of darkness?
(the absence of photons) it is not a constant but rather relative to the observers p.o.v.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
this is not intended to be taken literally but it's rather a
statement that makes emphasis on the quality/peacefulness of the sleep
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
This depends on what exactly was yesterdays temp.
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
studies show that happily (or unhappily) married people have less general anxiety and therefore enjoy better
mental and physical health
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
...google stanley kubrick apollo missions
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
so they can get a different view point
Did you ever stop and wonder......
many times ...understand the concept "traveling without moving"
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
this makes no sense whatsoever, all mammals are based on the same principal,
understanding mammary glands is pure instinct
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'
*See statement above, eggs have/are mostly protein.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
You are talking about cheap chinese walmart toasters,
my Dualit toaster works great; higher settings are for frozen stuff
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
frost
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
manners
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
again, manners
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
again, they're fictional characters
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
a waste of time and resources to justify the failed
public and private education system
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
mineral oil
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
yes, google philosophy
Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
cause Mozart did not copyrighted it
Stop singing and read on.........
ok
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
yes, they are phonetic symbols but symbols have shape,
anyone understands shape
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
it's your foul breath
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
no
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