...symphony orchestra jokes do you know? Probably the same answer as me: not many.
These were in the paper today, and since they had me literally chuckling out loud, I'm plagiarizing them for you all to chuckle along with!
How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin.
How many string bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None; the piano player can do that with his left hand.
Why are harps like elderly parents?
Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
Shoot one.
How many French horns players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They are both murder on the high C's. (Arrr!)
What is the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards, if you've got a good arm.
How can you tell that a kid on a playground is a trombonist's kid?
He can't swing and he complains about the slide.
What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common?
When you plug them in, they suck. (Please don't kill me electric guitar players, I'm just retyping them!)
What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Hope this brought a few laughs!
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