I used to think experience was that thing you get once you don't need it.
Well, it seems that all these years I have been looking in the
wrong direction with this experience thing regarding space-time.
All those thousands and thousands of miles and hundreds of
close calls over the last 25 years (along with my measly $400
worth of protective gear) made me literally walk away from this
one.
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...riding my daily 10 miles back from work at midnight
2 weeks ago, going uphill on some bendies through a
forest patch at about 40mph (65km/h) a 30kg deer
(a juvenile around 70Lbs, dunno) decides to leap across
the street, 2 feet in the air, in front of me. Smack.
I had literally 0 seconds reaction time, the thing simply
wasn't there and then there it was, on my front wheel.
The deer flew left, maybe 40ft total, across the road, hit
its head against the pavement, bounced over the guardrail
and landed in the forest in a nice patch of soft grass under
a tree that it was never to stand from again. I believe,
thankfully it died instantly from both a broken neck and
the blow to the head.
The bike flew right and fell on its right side and scraped the
road before coming to a stop a good 70ft later.
Me, not sure, everything was over 5 seconds later and
with so much adrenalin pumping in my system i'm still
not sure what exactly happened.
It seems that I flew over the bars straight and landed
kinda like superman on my left side and then rolled
2 or 3 times finally curling in to fetal position because I
thought the bike was still behind me, it wasn't.
Seconds later I stood up instinctively to get out of the road
cause of fear of traffic, and realized I just crashed, that i hit
an animal and that i was, fine.
I ran to the bike, turned off the headlamp and auxiliary
floodlamp (bike has only electric start, that's why) and
turned on the hazard blinkers.
I got my backpack off and pulled out my trusty high-end
LED torch (kinda like a D-cell maglite but with a 1 mile range)
and switch it on to assess the area.
Flash! ...the nightroad turns to daylight (700 lumens, hehe)
$hit, whats that? ...oh, my magnetic tank bag, $hit, what's
that? oh, the mirror, blinker, acerbis and other bits of motorcycle,
$hit, whatsdad? darn, thats gasoline leaking from your vents
dumbdumb, pick up ur bike NOW. $hit, my left hand is funny,
has blood, no strength, not good ...pick up ur bike with right
hand and left elbow, ahhh, pain in left arm and most everywhere
else, good, bike is upright, now don't drop it and roll it to road's
shoulder, done.
Go pick up your bag and bike bits, ouch, butt hurts.
....ummm, where's the deer?
Deer! deery? nuts cannot find it, it might have gone into the
forest hurt, crap, it will suffer all night before dying, crap.
Finally, after 2 disoriented minutes I found the deer on
the side of the road, quite far from the point of impact.
Oh, honey, $hit, are you ok? leaned down to touch it's
neck, still warm, lungs not moving, eyes open, bloody
head ...good, you're dead, it's all over.
Then suddenly an instant of panic filled me while I thought:
"nuts, am I dead too?"
So I started to look for my own body with the flashlight.
Nothing, no body anywhere, and someone has moved
the bike, you are not dead.
Ouch, warm pain and adrenaline everywhere.
Let's inspect my body, helm off. Just scraped a bit, no blow,
no blood, neck ok, good. darn left arm feels funny and warm,
no big deal, fingers are responding perfectly, elbow and shoulder
ok. Legs (I look down) $hit, where are the rest of ur jeans? lol
Ankles fine, knees fine, butt hurts, $hit, blood, naah, it's ok,
it's just a scratch. Abs ok, chest ok, no wait, it hurts to breathe,
lets test if ur lungs have collapsed, 1,2 .... deeep breath, hold
it in, out sloooowly, again, no, both are fine, ribcage hurts tho'
open your jacket, feel the ribs, ok, all there, nothing pointy or
sticking out, good, ur fine.
Bike, what about the bike, what should I do? call cops, call
ambulance, call wifey? $hit, you have no german bike license
yet dumba$$ no cops, ur fine, no ambulance either, could
I maaaaybe ride this crap home maybe??? ...mmmm
1st of all, try to start it. Vrooom! purring like a kitten, god
I love japanese bikes. ok, clutch ok? yup. brakes? $hit,
right lever is bent and done for, buuut wait ...it did not break,
wow, it works. Gas ok? stuck? ...vroom vroom, nope, a 10th
of it is gone but it works fine, wow. gears? all is well, bike is
only damaged on right side. front tyre???? $hit, there is
green deer poop everywhere and it"s bent BAD, not good.
Does it roll? (put bike on sidestand, lifted front end and try
to roll it with boot) nope, rim is not bent but wheel does not
roll well, why? ...fender is rubbing with tire, crap. Kick, kick,
kick, kick again with all ur strength (steelcap boots).
Try to roll it again, wow, it's free! ...sorda, good enough.
Handlebars ok? ...they seem fine. Forks? Nope, forks are
done for but wait, they are functional, sorta.
ok, get ur gear, helm and let's go home.
OOOOOOOUCH, cannot pull clutch, it huuurts.
shut up and stop whining and pull that clutch,
1, 2, ouuuch, 1st gear. OMG it's rolling!
1, 2, OUUUUCH, 2nd gear... im going straight
but handlebars are bent about 30 degrees to
the right, oh well, whatever.
1, 2, Ouuuuch, 3rd gear ...mmmm front wheel is
wobbly, don't go faster that this.
so this way I rode 9 painful miles home going 20mph
hoping all the way I wouldn't come across a copcar or
simply drop dead on the way.
Damage (BODY):
- lunate die punch fracture on left radius (not too bad)
- bruised rib cage
- 2 very very slightly cracked ribs (pain almost gone in 14days)
- general pain/bruises from head to toes
- bruised/scraped left butt
- 1 microsurgery to fill punched-in area of radius head with
fake bone-sponge and remove splinters
- 3 wires holding all tendons and ligaments in place
- 3 screws holding bones in place (not pictured)
- and that's it (lucky lucky bastard)
Silver lining:
Hospital stay was swell and surgery went well, my socialized
"MerkelCare" medical insurance took care of everything.
Also it's great to be young and healthy as see/feel how your
body bounces back and starts to regenerates at a cellular level
in about a week, amazing.
Damage (BIKE):
- Fork
- triple tree
- mirror
- brake lever
- gas grip
- acerbis branch-guard
- blinker
- dent in gas tank
- headlamp ring
- scrapes in muffler and foot pegs
- front fender
Silver lining:
For starters it's a $500 bike and it's gonna cost me just $200
worth of parts to get it in running order again: the scrapes and
dents I'll let them be.
ATGATT (gear)
- S5 boots (see pic)
- O neal "pumpgun" knee protectors (worn under pants) LOVE these!!! Saved my knee, period.
- Closed helm
- alpinestars mesh jacket with elbow, back and shoulder kevlar hardpads (saved my shoulder and elbow)
- bike gloves
- Nitro padded snowboarding backpack (helped A LOT, xtra padding for spine)
- kidney guard/belt (helped A LOTTTT!!!!)