Well...
I DID IT !!! (not that it wasn't the first time, but all I had was the kerbside... (curbside?)
Step 1, go to the local Autoparts, ask for "Oil Filter LS650", get the screwed eyed "huh ?" look from the attendant, ask for the oil filter catalogue, find the bike and point at item - ME, TARZAN, YOU, FILTER!
Same as DR650 and DR760...
Step 2, buy all he's got (two) you never know...
Step 3, try to stand bike quasi-vertical propping up sidestand on brick, struggle with cramped space...
Step 4, realize it's a hopeless situation, find big thick slab of hardwood from nearby building site, prop bike leaning 60° on right side with slab of hardwood wedged between cylinder and kerbside...
Step 5, realize oil drain plug is 17mm, so the brand spanking new 14mm extra-thin ratchet is useless...
fish out 17mm wrench and undo to almost there...
Step 6, lean bike back on proper side, slide oil catch pan and undo final turn on oil plug... lick oil off hands (hmmm, tasty, like badly burnt BBQ sausages) and undo oil filler plug (which I shoulda done earlier)
Step 7, undo 3 allen bolts off oil filter housing, pry open carefully, watchout for spring-loaded self destruct mechanism, cuss as another half pint of old oil trickles down your wrists, ain't gonna lick that off too...
Step 8, proudly produce new oil filter, nod in self approval for having carefully peeled old oil gasket from filter housing so you can use it again ('specially 'cause I didn't have another one) "doh" yourself for forgetting which way is which to fit new oil filter, figure it out by "look&tell", hope for the best...
Step 9, prepare to pour 2.5 liters new oil in sump, come to a screeching halt because you haven't put the oil drain plug in yet...
OK,
now pour that oil in, mop up dribbles, secure all filler caps, cuss at mechanic who replaced old 14mm drain plug with 17mm size but omitted gasket (make mental note to get one for next oil change)
Step 10, stand back, look at bike proudly and go over all steps 1 - 9, pray that you haven't actually overlooked anything...
realize car and house keys lie comfortably deep deep in your pockets and that you're mucked up to your elbows and that "ET, phone, home" is upostairs on the 5th floor...
oh, bugger...
Step 11 (optional) trundle up 5 floors with hands up high and elbows forward like a surgeon out of scrubbing, pound on door with elbows, feet, nose, anything to catch anybody's attention, head for the bathroom and scrub clean with dishwashing liquid (if it's good for frying pand and gentle on the hands, it's good for engine oil and still gentle on the hands)
Step 12 (ya gotta do theis) scramble back down 5 floors to bike, toolroll left sprawled on pavement, empty oil bottles and old lady neighbor "humpf!!!", clean up and get outta sight ...
By the way, this was a... NO BEER JOB ! (one beer after shower after all was cleaned up...)
Went for a slow, real slow test ride after lunch just to check whether all plugs were on tight and oil filter was on properly...
Seems all's OK, so... OK !