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/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl General Category >> The Cafe >> Rapture... /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1305917803 Message started by Serowbot on 05/20/11 at 11:56:43 |
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Title: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/20/11 at 11:56:43 Last day today,... ... and I have to take my mum to a doctor appointment... I'm also expecting a package tomorrow (hope the UPS guy is non-religious)... Plus,... I've really been wanting to see "Your Highness" at the movies... So,.. I'm applying for an extension... You ready?... :-?... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by EJID on 05/20/11 at 12:17:10 Don't know about you, but I still plan on being here Monday, got a new exhaust coming in the mail next week and a trip the following week. No "rapture" is going to keep me down :D |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by RidgeRunner13 on 05/20/11 at 13:41:36 Don't have time for such nonsense, need to finish the trailer hitch on the 950 so I can use the trailer when I go to the TEXAS MILE next weekend. 8-) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by thumperclone on 05/20/11 at 13:44:37 tommorow is supposed to be the first sunshine weve had in a week.. id like to wait for the next rapture still got too many fish to catch/fry... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by mick on 05/20/11 at 14:02:15 there is an army surplus store down town,they are selling used jet packs ,for people who don't get the call ,they can just fire up their own personable jet ,and up you go.Better get a good momentem because the fuel don't last that long. Good luck to all you non sinners. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by mick on 05/20/11 at 14:05:25 About 20 years ago their was going to be another rapture, I misunderstood the guy and thought he said I had a rupture, two weeks later I had my hurnia taken care of. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/20/11 at 14:13:11 This post originally appeared in the Tall Table thread. For those of you who don't go there, I am re-posting it here for your viewing pleasure. ****************************************** I'm sure by now everyone here has heard on the news that "The Rapture" is coming this Saturday May 21st 2011. There are billboards all over the south and the west warning of this event. Here's what they believe will happen... Source: The Family Radio Website faq's Family Radio International headquarters. What will take place on May 21? When the rapture time comes, starting on the International Date Line and rolling west, we will get news feeds from Asia and the pacific rim as people float away into the sky vaporizing before the cameras, leaving all earthly possessions including shoes and clothing behind. It will hit every time zone at 6:00 PM local time. Rolling earthquakes, thunder and fire will hit us all beginning in Asia. Locusts will stream from smoking holes in the earth and the unsaved will cower in terror as the wrath of the lord will be upon the earth. On May 21, 2011 two events will occur. These events could not be more opposite in nature, the one more wonderful than can be imagined; the other more horrific than can be imagined. A great earthquake will occur. The Bible describes it as such as was not seen since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great this earthquake will be, so powerful it will throw open all graves. The remains of the all the believers who have ever lived will be instantly transformed into glorified spiritual bodies to be forever with God. On the other hand the bodies of all unsaved people will be thrown out upon the ground to be shamed and suffer. There will be moaning, writhing. and gnashing of teeth. The inhabitants who survive this terrible earthquake will exist in a world of horror and chaos beyond description. Each day people will die until October 21, 2011 when God will completely destroy this earth and its surviving inhabitants. Believers have sold or given away all of their earthly possessions. They have quit their jobs, made their peace and said goodbye to their frinds and loved ones who are not saved and or non believers, and won't be going. ****************************************************************************** People actually believe this crap. Not much frightens me these days, but glazed-eye rapture-ready Christians sure do. Christ as cosmic dustbuster...go figure. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Stimpy - FSO on 05/20/11 at 14:19:50 I'm ready. Bring it on! ...but tonight I'm still bringing in my tomato plants, just in case :-? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Bug Chaser on 05/20/11 at 16:25:56 If you are really sure about this ... Send me your bank acount information ::) I will take on this responsibility for you ;) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Ed L. on 05/20/11 at 16:39:42 I hae stopped trying to reason with insane people. Let them believe whatever they want. At 6:00 on the 21st I'll be having a cold beer while floating in my pool. Now that is heaven. :D |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/20/11 at 17:19:10 7B5A6172103E0 wrote:
Let us know if 500,000 people drop in unexpected... :-?... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/20/11 at 17:43:20 "On the 21st I'll be having a cold beer." My Irish friends tell me there's beer in heaven....either way, Cheers! |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Ed L. on 05/20/11 at 18:01:21 I'll need a bigger pool :( |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Boofer on 05/20/11 at 18:07:42 Not to be arguementative with you guys, but us Christians don't believe this guy either. Those of us who study our Bibles know it says "of the day and hour knoweth no man..". Matthew 24:36. I won't bore you non-believers, but 98% of us Christians think this guy is nuts, too. It is my understanding that he has made a fortune off of this. His radio station is sometimes confused with American Family Radio, but it's not the same. Just to clarify, you guys are beating a dead horse. I know you want to be accurate in your posts, so there it is. :) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by skrapiron -FSO on 05/20/11 at 19:12:59 At 6pm tomorrow, I'll be sitting in the beer garden at Bocktown Beer and Grill, drinking to my health and celebrating my 40th birthday..... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/20/11 at 20:10:00 No doubt the true believers have already written, "So-long SINNERS!" on the bottoms of their shoes. Or maybe feet? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/20/11 at 20:14:27 It's currently 5:15 PM Saturday on Kiritimati, Christmas Island. I guess people will start spontaneously disappearing there first. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Yonuh Adisi FSO on 05/20/11 at 20:17:11 032431223C3936243522500 wrote:
So we get two chances to laugh hysterically at these idjits this year? Cool. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/20/11 at 20:21:01 Rapture coming, be careful out there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by mick on 05/20/11 at 20:51:54 As usual the bible punching christians are at it again. Come on guys all religion is bull sh1t. All you have to do is read the bible, start with the old testiment and keep reading all through the new testiment,and if you still believe their is a God, then please go join the rapture gang,your crazy. I bet none of you have read the bible allthrough, and please don't lie about it,that would be unbecoming. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by mick on 05/20/11 at 20:52:51 795E4B5846434C5E4F582A0 wrote:
is it 6 am or 6 pm ? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/20/11 at 21:33:28 Six PM local time in every time zone....no reports of people drifting up into the sky from Christmas Island....must all be heathens or pagans there. Samoa, and New Zeeland next up. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by HalfPint on 05/20/11 at 22:33:27 I've always wanted to make my own version of Zombieland... oh well.. I guess no real zombies.. ;) 6pm tomorrow I'll probably be nose deep rereading the Star Wars Trilogy geekin' out. =) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by bill67 on 05/21/11 at 05:35:34 Well I felt the earth shake pretty hard a couple times,But I was under the bed with my helmet on so I felt safe. :) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by WD on 05/21/11 at 07:02:48 You guys should listen to some of the holy roller hoodrats the TV has been talking to down here. And then there are the ones interviewed in front of the Colt 45 malt liquor signs... Religion is big business in Dixieland. Rapture scares are just another way for crooked preachers to fleece their flocks. I actually am ordained. Same way Jesse James got ordained on Monster garage a few years ago. Couple minutes on the Internet, Universal Life whatevers web site. Friends wanted me to officiate at their wedding (which did not happen). Spent 4 years in a Jesuit preparatory high school. Mom always dragged me and my little brother off to church with her. If people ask I say I'm pagan. Explains the gun and nudity when the Mormons come calling. Or the JWs. ;D It's all a crock anyway. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 09:30:16 Rapture day checklist... 1 clean underwear 2 toothbrush 3 St. Christopher 4 i-phone with countdown app 5 lunch money 6 spf 1000 sunblock 7 comfortable shoes 8 bus fare in shoes 9 snacks 10 spare pair of clean underwear I'm good to go.... Oh!,.. better bring ID... :-?... Good to go... :-?... ... and gum... bubble gum... no,... spearmint... :-/... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by mick on 05/21/11 at 10:31:03 Just got an e-mail from my cousin in England ,they are 8 hours ahead of us, All was ok their ,my cousin still has her feet on the ground,ooops just remembered she is also an athiest. My eldest Son lives in London he and is wife and kids are fine,no one wants us I guess. Are we supposed to walk about gnashing our teeth now ? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 10:54:30 We get a 5 month zombie shoot out... I recommend a .22... bullets are cheap, and you need a headshot anyway... ;)... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Wolfman on 05/21/11 at 10:54:40 Being a realist what i want to know is, as most tell me heaven wont have me and he!!s afraid ill take over, if the old lady goes do i get to collect her life insurance??? :D |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 10:56:22 675F5C565D515E300 wrote:
Depends,.... does the policy cover "acts of god"?... :-?... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Yonuh Adisi FSO on 05/21/11 at 13:58:42 There was a bad wreck on the way to my daughter's graduation that made us detour. You think New Mexico may have jumped the gun on the rapture thing? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by thumperclone on 05/21/11 at 14:19:18 can somebody my age get a rupture?? :-? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 14:41:54 No age limitations... if God loves you,.. you get one... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 14:59:04 5 min. 'till d-day... just checked live cam of Times Square... ... not much happnin'... These people would be late for their own funeral... I mean,... they are,... late for their own funeral...:-?... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by KristenAnn on 05/21/11 at 15:01:52 Ok I have survived the rapture!!! But there is something weird going on here, there is a big yellow thing in the sky providing light and warmth. Yeah sunshine!! |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 15:03:52 Fear not Kristen,... Arizona is loaning you the sun to cheer you up, since you didn't get raptured... ;)... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Stimpy - FSO on 05/21/11 at 16:37:59 That's it! I'm bringing my tomato plants back outside. so????? :-? what happened? No earthquakes No biblical flood No Cthulhu No ufos No zombies No CERN exposion and/or implosion No asteroid No godzilla No jesus/mohamed/Mahdi/budah/etc No 4 harleys of the apocalypse No doom whatsoever! (well, just don't ask macho man randy savage since he'll have a different opinion of course). ...um, I want my money back please. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Serowbot on 05/21/11 at 18:10:30 ... and I was so looking forward to the zombies... :-?... |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by skrapiron -FSO on 05/21/11 at 18:52:08 Well, poop! 6pm came and went and no sign of the messiah. I'm so brutally disappointed.... Here I was wearing my Sunday best, with a rented reception hall, catered dinner, the best band money could afford and the guest of honor didn't bloody well show up.... I'm so disillusioned right now... At least Buddha will return my calls from time to time.. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/21/11 at 21:11:44 Mother Fearing End of World Slits Throats of Daughters, Herself Palmdale (KTLA) -- A woman slit her daughters' throats before slitting her own early Friday evening, claiming that "the Tribulation" was going to occur and she wanted to prevent them from suffering through it, officials said. Lyn Benedetto, 47, reportedly told her daughters to lie on a bed and proceeded to take a knife to their throats. The suspect then took the knife to her own throat before driving the victims to an unoccupied friend's house to die. - snip - The victims were treated at Antelope Valley Hospital for moderate though non life-threatening injuries and released to custody of Department of Children's Services. They're OK...She did not succeed in killing any of them, including herself. Horrible thing for any mother to do. She is behind bars with one million dollars bail. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Starlifter on 05/21/11 at 21:45:14 The human side of the Rapture hoax. Source: New York Daily News The sky turned dark Saturday afternoon, but it wasn't a sign of the world's impending doom - just passing rain. Welcome to the No-pacalypse - a disappointing finish to what doomsday believer Robert Fitzpatrick thought would be the End of Days. "I don't understand why nothing has happened," a deflated Fitzpatrick said in Times Square just after 6 p.m. "I did what I had to do. I did what the Bible said." "I obviously haven't understood it properly, because we're still here," added Fitzpatrick, 60, surrounded by a phalanx of reporters and skeptical onlookers. The retired MTA worker from Staten Island bought $140,000 worth of advertising, proclaiming that the end was near. He and followers of California televangelist Harold Camping thought a global earthquake would strike the East Coast just before 6 p.m. After the clock ticked past 6 p.m. and nothing happened, Fitzpatrick appeared to shrink amid the jeering crowd. "How can you still stand there? How can you still do that?" Raeed Clark, 26, told Fitzpatrick, calling his ploy "the biggest scam in history." Fitzpatrick, for his part, spent the day as if it were his last. For breakfast, he had coffee, toast and Ezekiel 4:9 brand Golden Flax cereal. "The spiritual significance of these grains, I am not sure," said Fitzpatrick. He felt no need to do the dishes, but did take a moment to feed peanuts to two squirrels that hang out at his back door. "Only people can be saved - there will be no animals in heaven," he said. Asked how he would feel if the world didn't end, a confident Fitzpatrick said: "I wouldn't consider it because there's so much biblical evidence." "It's locked in," he said. "Buildings will be collapsing; the graves of the unsaved dead will be ripped open. The dead will be all around." Fitzpatrick spent several hours at home responding to emails and making calls. Then it was time for his final lunch of chicken tenders and spinach served with lemon. "I expect this to be my last meal," he said. Next, Fitzpatrick drove to the nursing home that cares for his 94-year-old mother, who suffers from dementia. As parting gifts he brought grapes, a granola bar, juice, chocolates and a bottle of water. "I read a passage - Luke 23," he said of his 30-minute visit. "It's an example of a thief on the cross and Jesus saving people up to the last minute." Fitzpatrick planned to do the same. He kissed his mother goodbye and jumped on the 4:30 p.m. ferry to Manhattan, where he warned people of the Rapture until the bitter end. Few were surprised when the end didn't come. "A real religion should try to help people, not scare them," said Michael Rodriguez, 24, a Bronx student. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by thumperclone on 05/22/11 at 07:57:53 what no laced koolaide?? |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Ed L. on 05/22/11 at 09:10:38 Nobody showed up for my pool party, I had plenty of beer and an extra gallon of bleach ready for the shallow end of the gene pool. :) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Yonuh Adisi FSO on 05/22/11 at 09:49:24 So disappointed when I woke this morning and realized I still had to go to work. ;) (actually not too disappointed since it took me since Christmas to find this new job after losing my old job.) |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Boule’tard on 05/23/11 at 13:59:20 Well obviously Jesus was coldcocked by a WWF character, quoted as saying "Like a THIEF in the NIGHT, FOOL!" http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y106/anmlfrm/rapture.jpg |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Africord on 05/23/11 at 15:25:23 Mark 13:32-33. Enough said. |
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Title: Re: Rapture... Post by Ed L. on 05/23/11 at 16:42:17 That adds up to 15 which means what? |
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