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/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl General Category >> The Cafe >> Chuckle of the day... /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1287759843 Message started by Southpaw on 10/22/10 at 08:04:02 |
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Title: Chuckle of the day... Post by Southpaw on 10/22/10 at 08:04:02 Shamelessly stolen from St. Louis's Craigslist... WHY I'M DIVORCED Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought, well, that's marriage for you; but the kids, they will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane, said, "good morning boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day, we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment; it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "OK," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday." And I just sat there, On the couch, Naked. :o |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by EJID on 10/22/10 at 08:06:46 LOL ;D Poor fella |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by babyhog on 10/22/10 at 08:28:34 Yep, that will set a divorce in motion real quick!! ;D My birthday, this past July 14th, I hadn't seen my mother in a couple weeks, and we had recently moved her to an apartment, and we discovered this good little Mexican restaurant close to her new apartment. It was a beautiful sunny day, so I wanted to ride! Decided to call my Mom, and ask her to meet us at the Mexican restaurant for dinner. Hubby and I rode the bikes over and she was there waiting. I figured she'd at least bring me a little something (she had shown me a bracelet she had bought for my sister, who's birthday was 3 weeks prior) We sat down at the table and she asked what had been happening, normal small talk. I finally said "Mom, do you know what today is?" She said "Tuesday, no, its Wednesday". I said "What's the DATE?" She thought a few seconds and said "Oh Sh!t!! I forgot your birthday!!" I told her I guess that's what its like when you are retired. Don't know what day it is, and don't care about dates anymore!! Don't worry, I'll never let her live it down... ;D |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by ALfromN.H. on 10/22/10 at 08:35:16 I'd be happy to just get a phone call to say HB but I doubt that will happen :'( . Oh well, I've gotten used to it. I bet Piglet will give me a Happy Birthday ;) AL |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by babyhog on 10/22/10 at 09:34:40 You are next on the list AL, so you will definitely get some virtual birthday kisses from me.... BUT you have to wait another week.... ;) |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by youzguyz on 10/22/10 at 09:42:43 I did not post my birthday date. I figured out that if you forget about it, and everybody else forgets about it until at least a week after the date, then it officially did not happen, and you don't get older. Saved me a lot of years that way.. |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by piglt on 10/22/10 at 10:46:15 i don't have birthdays anymore!!! :D |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by Fuschia on 10/22/10 at 11:09:52 Thanks for the laugh! That was a good one! ;D |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by mick on 10/24/10 at 19:16:53 very good one, I think that's what happened to our Bill. |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by bill67 on 10/24/10 at 19:23:04 My older brother is 13 months older than me,when we were kids for one month he would say ha ha ha I'm 2 years older than you,But now I get to say ha ha ha your 2 years older than me for that month. |
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Title: Re: Chuckle of the day... Post by Phelonius on 10/24/10 at 20:13:10 505B5E5E0405320 wrote:
But you are catching up fast. When he was 10 years old you were 80% as old as him. One month later you were 90% as old as him. How long will it take for you to catch up? Phelonius ;) |
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