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Message started by Rylee on 04/19/15 at 20:32:32

Title: Child discipline in California
Post by Rylee on 04/19/15 at 20:32:32

So my sous chef was at target yesterday with his son. After repeated attempts to verbally reign him in he resorted to popping his sons butt. Unknowingly a women in the isle called the police and reported him for "striking the child" this resulted in 3 cops cars waiting for him to exit the store. He was detained and threatened with arrest. Child Protective Service has gotten involved and he now has a case opened.

What happened to the days of old when if kids acted out they got smacked and nobody thought twice about it. Hell I was smacked so hard once in a Winn Dixie as a child I pulled the shopping cart over with me.

He told me his response to the cops and to the CPS officer was "when you help me raise this child you can have some input on how I do it" which is exactly how I feel. I'm not condoning beating a child and especially not in public but I for one raise my kids with strict discipline and they understand the consequences of if I have to tell you multiple times to do or stop doing something this is the outcome. Very rarely does it come to physical punishment with my children but that's because they know it will happen if they don't get it together. It's how I was raised and it's how my kids are being raised. You can save that time out crap for your kids

When I asked what happened when he popped his butt he said his son grabbed the cheek with one hand and straightened up. No tears no show of intense pain. The women who called the cops was present to give a statement and Jon (my sous chef) said she had 2 kids around the ages of. 4-7 and they were acting like fools the entire time.

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by justin_o_guy2 on 04/19/15 at 21:48:26

Stupid busybodies... Give her ten years and those kids will be driving crazy.
Welcome to the police state.. She should be charged with wasting people s time.
Idiot, can't tell the difference between correcting and abusing.

And please tell him that he has at least one supporter.

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by gizzo on 04/20/15 at 02:35:02

Make that 2...

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by arteacher on 04/20/15 at 03:20:17

In one of my psych courses while at university a rather humorous prof said (in a heavy German accent)
"There is absolutely no evidence in studies done that spanking a child does any psychological damage to the child. It does, however, make the parent feel a helluva lot better!"
Jog is correct, though. Some people don't understand the difference between punishment and abuse, and sitting down and talking to a two year old about how his/her behavior is not acceptable is pretty much a waste of time. Their world is "cause and effect", not higher reasoning.

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by Ed L. on 04/20/15 at 06:44:33

I could of used a couple more trips to the woodpile with a belt when I was a kid. Looking back I can't see how my parents put up with all the stuff I pulled.
If it didn't raise a welt then there was nothing wrong with what he did.
Brow beating and verbal abuse has a worst long term effect on a kid's development than a quick spanking.
If you want to raise real monsters don't educate them!!

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by MnSpring on 04/20/15 at 08:27:30

Quote:

... Stupid busybody Idiot, ... can't tell the difference between correcting and abusing ...

A Child grows up, learning that, a certain behavior, will elicit a certain response.
That is how, 'teaching', works.

One child, will learn, they behave in a acceptable way,
or they will get a slap on the butt.
Or they take the garbage out, (without being told), then get a extra cookie.
(Consciences for Actions)

Another Child will learn, they can do anything they want,
and at any time they want.
Then, when they are 16, and are turned down by a girl for a Prom date.
They steal a bunch of guns, and shoot up a school.

The big fault here is, the Cops.
Where did Common Sense go?

Sure, they have to come out when called.
And they don't Know who the, 'bad', guy is.
But, After they talked, to the two parties, saw how the children of the two parties behaved.
And determined it was NOT Abuse.
They should have NOT, taken it to the next level.

Well, unless, 'they', were never taught.

The fact that, Actions, elicit certain, Consciences, (good or bad)
are less and less taught.

"This stove is hot, do not touch the burner"
Then some day, when curiosity gets the best of the child,
they, 'touch' the hot burner.
They Cry, a parent comes, consoles them, kisses the burnt finger,
holds them, then, gently, scolds them,
"See, you don't touch the burner". That is raising a stable child.

Another tells a child, 'The Burner is hot", then holds their hand on it.
THAT, is Abuse!

See, Needs to be a, 'Breeding' License !!!!

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by Rylee on 04/20/15 at 09:29:34

There was just so much wrong with the entire situation. First off why does this type of call need 3 responding patrol cars for a total of 6 officers. Secondly, during the time he was giving the statement there should have been a point where at least 1 of the 6 officers realized it was just what it was a slap on the bottom for not listening.

Now because of someone taking it so beyond what it actually was this gentleman who's never had any types of dealings with any law enforcement is going to have his life dissected. His child is going to be interrogated by an agency who in California has been in the spotlight for numerous wrong doings themselves in the past few years. And all of this because some crunchy mom with 2 hellions of her own decided her way of parenting was correct and his was illegal.

The best part of all this was during the interview process Jon asked the officers if they had kids. None of them answered yes. He laughed as he replied "so none of you have ever been in any type of child raising situation yet here you are trying to intervene with mine"

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by Arnold on 04/20/15 at 12:48:02

Sad to see where this world is going, now if this kid is smart enough he'll call child services himself next time.

Hell I could use a good ass kicking myself.

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by mpescatori on 04/21/15 at 03:00:11

382721263B3C0D3D0D35272B60520 wrote:

I am 55 and stand a whopping :-? 5'5"

My son is 17 and stands 5'11" 8-)

The other day my wife and I were discussing with him over "go out with friends and come home late".
In "Dolce Vita" Rome, busses and metro will operate until 01:30, with special "Night Runs" until 5 a.m.
I pointed out I want to know where he'll be going and with whom - nothing special, but I want to know because I am entitled to knowing.

His answer was "Dad, what a bore, it's none of your business"

NOT the kind of attitude one expects from a kid who wants to convince his parents to go out and stay out late.

"You may be tough and stronger than me - I said as I walked up to him - but I'm meaner, because I have life experience you can't even dream of"
He gave me the mean, beady eye stare
"You can talk back to your friends all you like, but I'm not your peer, I'm your father"
Same mean, beady eye stare
"You can think you can talk back to anybody and walk away and get away with it... but it's only because you have still to meet someone meaner than you"
Same mean, beady eye stare
"The day day you walk across someone meaner, he won't be bigger, he won't look stronger, but he'll be a helluva lot meaner than you and will kick your ass to bits - and you'll be screaming mercy because you're not used to street fights"
Really badass, beady eye stare

I was a mere two feet away, hands by my sides.
I whumped him on the head, the typical slap-on-the-head, but hit him so hard he banged his head against the wall and his eyes went milky for a second.
Before he could even realize I slapped him again, just as hard.

"Now thank me and go fix your room"

He didn't say a word, shuffled to his room and has behaved like a grenadier guard since.

Was I happy ? I was heartbroken.

Was it useful ? Extremely.

Would I do it again ? I don't think I ever will have to, but if it's for the good of my one and only son, absolutely.

It's better to get a lickin' from your own dad, than from a gang of Street thugs...

PS Teenagers in Rome after midnight ?

http://www.italiaatavola.net/images/contenutiarticoli/piazza-di-spagna520.jpg

At 17, he's old enough to know how to keep his nose clean and discipline himself to ONE beer. It's a matter of culture and responsibility.
(You may say "isn't it against the law? I will reply Yes, so was prohibitionism - TEACH and they wil learn)

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by MnSpring on 04/21/15 at 16:23:37

Couldn't help it.
Just had to share this:
(Tired a, imbedded, 'link')
*If that does not work, try:
https://www.facebook.com/MajoeDuisburg/videos/vb.281009208587937/586441461409520/?type=2&theater

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by Art Webb on 04/21/15 at 20:49:02

stupid, stupid, stupid, and then people wonder why our young are growing up to be criminals
You can't really blame the cops, I bet if you check Cali law, they aren't allowed discretion, the problem is the lawmakers who have made it so, on the unsubstantiated word of 'experts' who likely have zero kids of their own, and the self righteous who believe it's their job to inject themselves into other's lives
Texas actually recognizes a parent's right to physically discipline their children (it's in our use of force laws) nd STILL there was a judge here, a JUDGE, who told a parent they couldn't use corporal punishment
gaah

Title: Re: Child discipline in California
Post by old_rider on 04/23/15 at 18:58:11

I do believe there is the law for "redness" disappearing after 15 min. that is considered discipline. If there is a bruise, it is considered abuse... that being said, red heads and light skinned children are sometimes easy to bruise.

If they did not look at the area where he struck his child.... a good lawyer will sue for false accusations, that will teach the ol' busy body.
If a record has been created, be it personal claim, police dept. or state, it can be expunged if no "abuse" was proven.
Hope this helps...

My reason for jumping in....
At a bowling alley during our league... my son was doing his homework at one of the tables.... my wife was helping him.
He was about 12yrs old, and could not figure out one of the problems... and said "this nuts sucks"... my wife popped him in the mouth... and told him "don't talk like that"..
A lady at the next table called the cops... they showed up in about 5 minutes.
After calling she confronted my wife about the abuse.... very verbal and threatening to "slap you silly"...
I stepped in and told the lady to back off, and to stop threatening my wife... her hubby stepped in and also said he would kick my tushy and my wife's...
That is when the cops showed up....
The police split us up, I told the officer what happened... he looked at my sons face...which was not red at all...
The lady who called, and her husband... were told to leave... they had been drinking.... I politely told them I would not press charges and to stay the hell away from my family, or I would.
Know the law, or look it up... don't let the busy bodies ruin your child's life....