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/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl General Category >> Politics, Religion (Tall Table) >> the slow creep of hopelessness . . . /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1413517836 Message started by LostArtist on 10/16/14 at 20:50:36 |
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Title: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/16/14 at 20:50:36 I feel it coming on, probably be over it in a month or so, but man, people just keep saying, "so change your life" but I don't believe I can, I don't think I have any marketable skills or anything worth anything and I don't think I know what direction to go in. I used to kinda feel lost, and okay with the journey, now I don't know anymore. I know what I WANT to do, but I don't have any faith that it'll be worth it. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Paraquat on 10/17/14 at 06:03:03 I hear ya. --Steve |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Serowbot on 10/17/14 at 07:06:14 I go through cycles of depression every 2 or 3 years... I've done so for 20 years... Some of us are just wired that way... I've been in one for several months right now... Try not to ruminate... don't allow your thoughts to become cyclic... As soon as a hopeless thought comes into your mind... acknowledge it, then force yourself to think something else... Anything... Do something to distract your thoughts... (clean the sink, cook, go pull some weeds, take a walk, etc)... Don't be afraid of seeking professional medical help... You aren't alone... many people go through this... Peace, Serow |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by thumperclone on 10/17/14 at 08:16:40 there is hope ive been outta work since june and went thru those same feelings bills backing up, disconnect notices, behind on the mortgage fishing helped and getting up into the woods recharged me drinking just numbed me no help kept sending out resumes, no replys.. got a couple of interviews finally landed a job as maintenance tech in a hotel things will change for you |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/17/14 at 11:44:29 things aren't any worse than they've ever been, actually things are a little better, I"m just comparing myself to some silly image of what I thought I'd be doing at this point in my life, I'm no where near that and I'm not "successful" by any real measure. I know this will pass, but I'm kinda getting sick of the un-merrygo round I'm on I should at least TRY to be what I want to be right? but failure would really really really hurt. I'll be alright, I just want to be better |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Trippah on 10/17/14 at 15:52:00 LA - you know what you want, but wonder if it is doable, or wonder if if will pay you, or wonder if you have what it takes. Why don't you check with your state department of labor and see if they provide free testing. Interestingly, the tests, if you answer the questions honestly, might well give you some concrete guidance (and not the Jimmy Hoffa type Please)! Sitting around thinking about it is like Jr high should I ask Mary Lou to the dance..if you don't you will never dance with her, if you ask and she says no, well, have a cold one and move on ;but if she says yes, well, could be fun. The real solution is to start doing and less thinking (yeah, I know, I have a B,A, in Philosophy--don't tell any one :o and best of luck..get er done. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by raydawg on 10/17/14 at 16:34:08 Nothing wrong with taking stock, fact I think its prudent. Our mind is a very powerful instrument, and when we try to "trick" it, instead of listening to what it is trying to tell us, that is where funk roots. I posted a while back about goggling "Why I need to be right". A whole host of titles/articles populate the screen. Pick a few and read them, you might find a clue to your dumps. I know I felt a two by four hit me in the head with a giant DUH, when I was confronted with reality of these stories and studies ;D As a society we medicate too much instead of repairing..... In a nutshell, ya wanna be right, or happy? Each must decide....... |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Serowbot on 10/18/14 at 09:08:10 ...and then, there's Ebola... :-?... |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by raydawg on 10/18/14 at 10:23:13 3D2B3C21392C213A4E0 wrote:
And them you ride motorcycle buddy :o True story. My youngest son just bought a brand new Mustang GT with 10 million horsepower :o I wanted to dissuade him from buying it out of MY fear ( of losing him to a car accident as he accepts the challenge of another street rodder). In a passive/aggressive way, instead of sharing his joy and happiness of his reward for hard work and realizing his dream car at only 22 tears of age, I shared only concerns (mine). As a good son he listened to me. He allowed me to uh, vent :P I was truthful finally, and said in a nutshell...... I am merely scared son of losing you to a possibility.... He replied, "Dad, I understand fully what you are saying and I take it into consideration, but dad look, you choose to ride a motorcycle, we all that love you dearly, and accept you, for you, accepting that risk..." Obviously he got his moms smarts ;D |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Serowbot on 10/18/14 at 10:56:07 44574F52574151360 wrote:
And them you ride motorcycle buddy :o [/quote] ????... is that a gay thing?... Yer' mistooken, buddy... I'm not gay... |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by raydawg on 10/18/14 at 10:59:24 2C3A2D30283D302B5F0 wrote:
And them you ride motorcycle buddy :o [/quote] ????... is that a gay thing?... Yer' mistooken, buddy... I'm not gay... [/quote] You are many things punkin, but grammar police ain't one of them :-* |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Ed L. on 10/20/14 at 11:21:25 Been out of work for over a year now, got laid off when a big company bought out the place I was working at. Still dealing with it. I'm over 60 and feel the same, not real marketable, most companies don't want to train an older person when youngsters are out there looking for the same job. Depression is normal as is anger and questioning your professional life. In other words WTF did I do wrong to end up like this?? >:( To add another layer of WTF I lost one of my Australian Shepards to cancer a few months ago. Still miss him even after getting puppy to keep me upbeat. Already sold my '69 Ducati 250 to help pay bills and I'm slowly cleaning out the shop looking for stuff to put on e-bay. Even that can be depressing going through all the old junk I've picked up during my journey in life. LostArtist, what you are going through suc*s but look at the alternative. Enjoy a nice sunrise or sunset, the smell of fresh cut grass or a nice set of boobies. Smile a lot and good luck. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by pgambr on 10/20/14 at 11:50:59 I'm not sure what is worse, being poor your whole life or loosing whatever you have had the good fortune to accumulated. The only thing I know that is worse is when the doctor says, "sorry their is nothing we can do you." |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/20/14 at 13:50:05 okay, I'm not nearly as hard off as a bunch of people I get that. just seems that everything I try to to to make myself a "success" doesn't work so I'm about ready to give up on that and just accept where I am and wallow here for a bit. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Paraquat on 10/21/14 at 06:11:44 My fiancee of 6 years just cheated on me. I'll be 32 this year. I don't have another 6 years to meet someone and get to know them and consider starting a family. All the women on these dating sites already have 2 or 3 kids of their own (wonder why they're single now). That may be fine for them but I kind of wanted a child of my own. I'm not able to support a child yet. I can barely keep myself above water. I'm not sure I can maintain my house on my own, now that she's gone. It took me a little under a decade to complete my college learnin's. (although because everything was so fvcked I ended up with 2x 2 year degrees) which only means I can wipe my tushy with either hand. I'm not making what I think I'm worth and I just got hit with an 800 dollar bill for fuel oil. (Usually 2 fills in winter, one fill from April to October) It's going to be a cold winter. That's deep, pga. I like that quote. Probably going to sell one of my cars soon. (I have a 25 year old $500 winter crasher, a fun convertible, and the utility Jeep I just rebuilt the engine in.) I'm not in the field I imagined. Not doing what I imagined. Although I'm excellent at what I do. I don't know, I can't encourage you. The world is sh!t. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by justin_o_guy2 on 10/21/14 at 08:12:16 But,, its ALLL just the result of a Looong series of mistakes made by WELL intentioned people in DC.. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by WebsterMark on 10/21/14 at 08:24:07 Gentlemen; It’s not very often I don’t think I have the answer to everything, but right now, I don’t know what to say. I realize I’m often the antagonist on here and many of you piss me off to no end, (as I’m sure I do you in turn) but the truth is I’ve come to recognize the personalities assigned to your usernames. I don’t think you can call those you exchange messages with online as ‘friends’, but you can develop a bond with them that’s similar. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and would make it a brighter day for you, but sadly I don’t. All I can say is that someone you probably can’t stand hearing from is nonetheless thinking about you and wishing for a brighter tomorrow. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Jerry Eichenberger on 10/21/14 at 10:12:01 I'll add my 2 cents worth. LA - how old are you? Something makes me think you are fairly young, at least by the standards of this 67 year old. Listen to Serowbot's recommendation - clinical depression is an illness, not something to be ashamed of, so get treatment. Depression is a whirlpool - the more you have it, the deeper it sucks you down. You cannot get out of the morass alone. Then, take real stock. I hear you saying that many of your ideas didn't work. Why? There are 2 reasons in business why ideas don't work. One is lack of effort to make it work, the other is because the idea never made sense in the first place, no matter how hard you wanted it to. Only you, perhaps in consultation with a "mentor" can decide why you have failed in the past. And past failure is also nothing to be ashamed about. As long as you learn from a mistake, all the better, because you won't repeat it. Good luck, and keep us up to date on how you're doing. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/21/14 at 14:44:57 69666A606B666D616671646671030 wrote:
I'm 36, my main problem is I have absolutely zero confidence in myself or my work to sell myself in a job interview or to "fake" it. I really do take all the responsibility for that too, I haven't seized opportunities, I haven't networked correctly, etc. .. Also, I've come to realize I'm not the personality type it takes to make it in the "design" field so I'm not even sure I want to try anymore but my lifestyle has moved up a bit so I can't really start again from scratch, but I might just have to. and I can't really afford to really seek out professional help either, so as long as I keep my expectations low, I'm okay, but it's kind of a sh!tty way to live. and again, I'm not bad off, some here have more difficulties than me for sure, so I feel for them and I'm sorry I'm taking up time from their problems. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Jerry Eichenberger on 10/21/14 at 15:01:24 LA - PM me. There was a time in my life when I was a nerdy kid who had no sense of self worth, no friends in high school, and wondered where I'd end up. So I set about making some changes. I'll tell you my story. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/21/14 at 16:45:11 5E515D575C515A565146535146340 wrote:
it's one thing being that way when you're a kid, it's another when you're an adult, I'm a freaking sub-urban hermit here, I want to live my life more, but I have NO idea where or how to start about doing that. when asked, people often say you just do it, "get over yourself" etc . . which leaves me with even less confidence and even more afraid of screwing up because it's obviously just that much simpler, but I can't figure it out. and I hate reaching out in this kind of state cause I feel like I'm a downer to those I'm reaching out to. thank God when I ride my motorcycle I don't have time to think about all this BS. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/31/14 at 12:55:22 still lost, not depressed, maybe anxious though, idk, I still have no idea what to do with my life. could be much worse Quote:
these feed off each other for me, I have no faith in the ideas I have, so I don't think they make sense in the first place, I also feel that society in general agrees with me on that, so I then don't make much of an effort to make it work. but then that leads me to try other things like going back to school and getting a master's degree, which was a huge mistake, well a $17,000 mistake, cause I kinda muddled it up by trying to get a master's degree in something I'm interested in instead of just doing it for the money, cause you get that advice a lot. now I think I'm just trying to talk myself into "selling out" and start trying to look for something I might be competent at without having to go back to school, or something I could go back to school for that I wouldn't hate that wouldn't put me into too much more debt. I kinda feel like that song "Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by pgambr on 10/31/14 at 15:43:30 53706C6B5E6D6B766C6B1F0 wrote:
Do I understand this correctly? You have a masters degree and you are contemplating additional education? I certainly don't have all of the answers; although, I have a graduate degree and have been in your position as well. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 10/31/14 at 16:51:38 6B7C7A7679691B0 wrote:
Do I understand this correctly? You have a masters degree and you are contemplating additional education? I certainly don't have all of the answers; although, I have a graduate degree and have been in your position as well. [/quote] additional, probably not additional, like not a PH,D or anything in that direction, rather, different education, I'd be cool with getting an associate's degree in something completely different and go off in that area, like maybe medical imaging or something, but I have no idea what that something should or could be. I need to get my anxiety under control, I didn't know that I had that problem until I had to leave a job over it in July. I had symptoms of anxiety but I always thought it was just periodic depression but it would come and go and I'd get over it. It might still just be situational and I need to fix that, somehow. sorry, this is a huge pity party for me, I know, I know, but it does help a bit to at least put it down in pixels, sorry if I'm being a downer for anyone |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Ed L. on 10/31/14 at 17:06:11 No pity party, you just need to express the little gremlins that creep through you mind. We all have them, it's part of being human. I would rather be my dog, get fed, hugged and loved with no worries. It doesn't work that way :(. Don't dwell on the past, it only will bring you down, can't tell you what to do, just try to enjoy whatever comes your way. Peace Brother |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by thumperclone on 10/31/14 at 23:05:21 me gremlins turning 60 this year, have gone from running 20 man electrical crews in the sunshine state, living in a brand new house, making good money and spending good money just as fast.. now to a slower paced just better than min wage maintenance position in a hotel, our house is almost 100 years old.. I've adapted & I enjoy the interaction with the guests at work. fishing and camping are great energy rechargers am even thing of taking up my painting hobby that I haven't done for over 15 years have survived substance abuse issues and periods of depression over the years & thoughts of ending it all never thought id see 30 let alone 60 ironic news came in the mail this week I can retire at 62 and would take home more than I am presently!! I cant dwell on the missed but I look forward to the possible |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Paraquat on 11/03/14 at 06:15:33 http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Two-Killed-in-Fiery-Crash-in-Berlin-281171432.html My cousin got torched to death. I get to be a pallbearer on Saturday. My Spyder caught fire last night two streets away from home. 5 years of building that car and I watched it go in 5 minutes. As far as dealing with stuff, I've been forcing myself outside of my comfort zone since last year. Stuff I'd normally say no to I've been forcing myself to say yes instead, and then backing up those commitments. Since posting my own grief on your thread I've had a few people reach out to me. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Total strangers who want to help. It doesn't feel as bad. --Steve |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by pgambr on 11/08/14 at 15:16:11 Where did "piss poor" come from? Here are some facts about the 1500's. I don’t know how much of this is true, but it lends a certain perspective. Where did "Piss Poor" come from? Interesting history. They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot. And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery... If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, And they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell, Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs." The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. I had a relative who used to say, "it can always get worse." :-? |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by raydawg on 11/09/14 at 13:41:59 Yeah I know some folk don't want to hear this, much less lend it any credence..... But I had a ton of "issues" that led to mental fragmentation. Trying to find a solution, in a world where lip service, and pseudo fixes, only add to the confusion and are temporary at best.... My mental state even controlled my physical body, which was fixable with other/more medications..... Which, BTW, did you know BIG pharmaceuticals are much great in $$$$$$$ than the big bad mean oil companies? But it all changed in a heartbeat, life has direction, meaning, and joy. It is sustainable, has real tangible results that I can even share with others, and cost nothing at all, and is available to all, for free.... I was down to one of two options, kill myself, or surrender my will to one who accept me as broken as I was, and repair me.... I went with Jesus, inviting him to take my life and use it as he deems. Measurable physical health was improved immediately and verified by a blood pressure monitor. I was taken off meds, never had a need since and have not had the need to self medicate, for any reason or bad luck..... I know it is not believable too many, this is nothing new.... I am sorry for that. We can make laws that are punitive in nature against believing, and exhibiting that faith, but it won't improve their lot one iota, as their focus is outward, instead of inward, where their problems exist. But it does not change the facts, and results in my life, because they can't believe it..... I hope all have a chance at sustainable joy, and happiness, with whatever they choose to do with their lives :-* |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 11/12/14 at 12:22:03 another one of those days, I think I might start using this thread as a journal kinda, to start being able to get some real quantitative data on my problem, I might not need that data, but if I only feel this way 5 days a month, it's not worth spending money on treatment. today, I am a failure, this IS NOT debatable, it just is, and any change I make in my life will just emphasize that. I'll make it through today, but sometime, idk when, I won't, this is as real to me as anything else in my life. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by verslagen1 on 11/12/14 at 14:27:45 Dr. George said "to increase your rate of success... increase your rate of failure" If you're only bad 5 days outta 30... count your lucky stars. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 11/12/14 at 15:04:45 4F5C4B4A55585E5C5708390 wrote:
I hope it turns out that way, but right now idk, the days when I'm not depressed, I'm not a bundle of joyous energy either. who's Dr. George? |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by pgambr on 11/12/14 at 17:14:21 In my line of work I meet people from all walks of life, many disciplines, and from nearly all parts of the country. For the most part everyone says the same thing, their is little to no recovery anywhere. The only state where they say the economy is doing well is Texas. Regarding what people do for a living, that is the same as well. You are enjoying a high quality of life if you are a doctor, lawyer, or you are in the petroleum business in some capacity. You will probably find a pretty good job if you attend some kind of nursing program. If you are not so fortunate to find yourself in one of those disciplines, you either have to be extremely lucky, or be at the right place at the right time. Otherwise you have to be the very best at what you do to have shot. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by verslagen1 on 11/13/14 at 09:52:10 2E0D11162310160B1116620 wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Fischbeck |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by raydawg on 11/13/14 at 16:30:18 33203736292422202B74450 wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Fischbeck[/quote] I was a Dr. George weather ranger way back when ;D |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 11/13/14 at 16:42:41 today is an okay day. I still want a better life and still have no idea how to get it, but over all my life isn't bad. score: D:1 ND:1 |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by LostArtist on 12/11/14 at 12:11:07 another bad day, so far, but it'll get better just posting to get it out, might help get it off my mind |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by tcreeley on 12/14/14 at 20:03:54 I get sucky days, but I look at the small stuff - my cat or think how well my hammer is designed and focus on that. I make things with my hands or think of something to make. I get angry- I label the bad guys- the ones who keep us poor, working for nothing. One foot in front of the other foot- and I've worked forever. That's life. Nothing special in it, unless it means something to me. It never means much to anyone else. Just me. I let myself think what I want to. I judge everything around me. And I allow hatred to be part of that. I can't relax unless I know what I think, it is how I know my feelings. If I relax, I can say what the hell, who cares. And things look better to me. It is how I lift myself up. -I noticed when I was in my 30's that I had some of the things I had always dreamed of having as a kid. Just a few- but it told me- if I really want it, somehow it happens. Keeps me up on those long stretches of nothing. Remember- tell the world to f-off, who cares, then enjoy a cup of coffee, or a glass of cold water. It is about you, not about them. Enjoy. |
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Title: Re: the slow creep of hopelessness . . . Post by Trippah on 02/10/15 at 20:59:30 If you do nothing else, get some exercise each day increasing by 10 minutes each week. If you haven't anything else to do, go volunteer at a VA hospital or the local Cancer Ward. Restrict alcohol to one drink a day after you have gotten home. Report back in two weeks. ;D ;D |
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