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/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl General Category >> The Cafe >> Jewish Poker Club /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1371322366 Message started by mpescatori on 06/15/13 at 11:52:46 |
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Title: Jewish Poker Club Post by mpescatori on 06/15/13 at 11:52:46 Before anyone takes offense... I received the joke below through a mailng list I subscribed to. The sender is frm NYC, so may I suggest you read it with your best "Fran the Nanny" Brooklyn accent. ;) Seven retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse, when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other six continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him: be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to Meyer's condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife. "I'll go tell him." sighs Goldberg. :-? ;) :D |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by justin_o_guy2 on 06/15/13 at 14:13:02 Dude! Thats great! Hmmmm Boy,, she's gonna feel just terrible when she finds out he did, |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by mpescatori on 06/18/13 at 07:23:46 Two pilots got to talking on a transatlantic flight. The captain was Jewish, and the co-pilot was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn't care for each other. After thirty minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, " I don't like Chinese. " The co-pilot replied, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat? " The pilot said, " You guys bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese. " The co-pilot said, " Nooooo, noooo .... Chinese no bomb Pearl Harbah. JAPANESE bomb Pearl Harbah. " The pilot answered, " Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter. You're all alike. " Another thirty minutes of silence ensued. Finally, the co-pilot said, " I no like Jew. " The pilot replied, " Why not? Why don't you like Jews? " " Jews sink Titanic. " The pilot tried to correct him, " No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg. " " Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Valberg ... no mattah... all same. " __________________ ;) |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by Greg on 06/18/13 at 16:36:25 2A37223424263328352E470 wrote:
;D ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by Steampowered Boy on 06/23/13 at 09:21:20 Two passengers on a commercial plane; One was American, the other Chinese. The American looked at the Chinese and said, I am confused. Are you Chinese, Vietnamese or Japanese coz ya all look, sound and behave alike. The Chinese paused and then answered, It depends. Are you a Yankee, monkey or a donkey? |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by justin_o_guy2 on 06/23/13 at 09:26:56 Next time stop @ Yankee/ monkey,, cuz monkeys look nothing like donkeys, |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by arteacher on 06/23/13 at 11:05:04 A blind guy is sitting on a bar stool and says to the bartender, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke". In a hushed voice, the guy sitting next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, as is the bouncer. I'm 6' tall and have a black belt in karate. The guy sitting next to you is 6'2", weighs 225 lbs and is a rugby player. And the fella next to him is 6'5" pushing 300 lbs and is a wrestler. Each one of us is a blonde. So think about it mister - are you sure you want to tell a blonde joke here?" The blind guy thinks for a minute, and then says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 5 times." |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by rl153 on 06/24/13 at 13:00:56 >Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. > >Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross. The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David. > >Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says, [ch65533]My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the Seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite[ch65533]. > >The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing! |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by mpescatori on 06/25/13 at 02:03:48 6E67746B6C6733303B3B020 wrote:
Don't you just looove a Yiddish joke ! ;D |
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Title: Re: Jewish Poker Club Post by arteacher on 06/26/13 at 09:16:32 Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to un-wrap their 'dogs'. The mother superior begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part... did you get...?" |
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