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Message started by Serowbot on 01/07/13 at 08:45:16

Title: Welfare joke...
Post by Serowbot on 01/07/13 at 08:45:16

:-?...
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He
marched straight up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know, I
just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur
and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll drive his 2011
Mercedes-Benz CL and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be
expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is
rather awkward, but you will also as part of your job description have to
satisfy her sexual urges. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a strong
sex drive."
The guy in wide-eyed amazement said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said: "Yeah, well ... You started it."*
;D ;D ;D...

Title: Re: Welfare joke...
Post by srinath on 01/07/13 at 10:41:09

485E49544C59544F3B0 wrote:

Y'know, I wont be wide eyed at any point in this process ...

Have you worked for a wealthy 20 yr old ?

Yea, its real work ... you have to listen to hours of vacous flak and pretend to be interested ? You have to drive for hours on end trying to find where she dropped her ear ring with directions like, go to where I threw away the movie ticket from skyfall ... and make a left turn where we saw the cat ...

I know, I have had to drive with directions like this ...
I have also been told 222 north, has nothing to do with 222 south. If we went somewhere on 222 north, we have to return on 222 north but drive the opposite side.

OK OK it was from a clueless injun 20 year old chick ... and I didn't actually do any of this. But I was thinking, thank god I dont have to do anything you say.

Cool.
Srinath.

Title: Re: Welfare joke...
Post by Paraquat on 01/07/13 at 11:07:28

That reminds me of a song...
It was something called "Girl Directions" or "Chick Directions".
It was on youtube. I can't search for it because I'm at work right now.

--Steve

Title: Re: Welfare joke...
Post by srinath on 01/07/13 at 12:58:22

5A6B786B7B7F6B7E0A0 wrote:

That reminds me of a song...
It was something called "Girl Directions" or "Chick Directions".
It was on youtube. I can't search for it because I'm at work right now.

--Steve

Yea I know - something like this, @ McAllister's deli - I'd like a spicy southwest griller, but instead of the Ciabatta, substitute onion and red pepper rye bread, instead of the chicken I'd like tofu, instead of fire roasted corn I'd like fire roasted bell peppers, instead of poblano and pepper relish, I'd like sour cream, instead of pepper jack cheese, I'd like gruyere cheese, and instead of chipotle ranch I'd like thousand island lite.

Seriously my wife has a friend who ordered something like that, worse yet she left out a few things off it, they said they cant substitute some thing so she left that out as well, and got a really unappetizing sammich for 7 bucks and didn't eat most of it.

Cool.
Srinath.

Title: Re: Welfare joke...
Post by Paraquat on 01/08/13 at 15:25:06

Girl Directions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5_HhqcbF_0

There's some "harsh" language but the video makes sense.

--Steve

Title: Re: Welfare joke...
Post by houstonbofh on 01/08/13 at 15:50:04

That was a riot!