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Message started by Stimpy - FSO on 09/01/11 at 05:22:36

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Stimpy - FSO on 09/01/11 at 05:22:36

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
cause he's a fictional character. It's not supposed to make any sense.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
cause we think that it's a contact problem rather than low batteries

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
cause we're stupid and keep paying these fees instead of dumping our banks for local ones

What is the speed of darkness?
(the absence of photons) it is not a constant but rather relative to the observers p.o.v.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
this is not intended to be taken literally but it's rather a
statement that makes emphasis on the quality/peacefulness of the sleep

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
This depends on what exactly was yesterdays temp.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
studies show that happily (or unhappily) married people have less general anxiety and therefore enjoy better
mental and physical health

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
...google stanley kubrick apollo missions

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
so they can get a different view point

Did you ever stop and wonder......
many times ...understand the concept "traveling without moving"

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
this makes no sense whatsoever, all mammals are based on the same principal,
understanding mammary glands is pure instinct

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'
*See statement above, eggs have/are mostly protein.

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
You are talking about cheap chinese walmart toasters,
my Dualit toaster works great; higher settings are for frozen stuff

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
frost

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
manners

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
again, manners

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
again, they're fictional characters

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
a waste of time and resources to justify the failed
public and private education system

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
mineral oil

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
yes, google philosophy

Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
cause Mozart did not copyrighted it

Stop singing and read on.........
ok

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
yes, they are phonetic symbols but symbols have shape,
anyone understands shape

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
it's your foul breath

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
no

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by runwyrlph on 09/01/11 at 05:58:49

well, i guess that answers that question...

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by MMRanch on 09/02/11 at 20:53:49

So if someone points to their butt while looking at me do I break their jaw or point them to the bathroom. ???

;D

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Starlifter on 09/05/11 at 11:30:34

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

This depends on what exactly was yesterdays temp.

*******************************************

I'm not sure what this question means, but I figure:

– The average year round earth surface temperature is 14° C. That's 287 kelvin, or 57.2° F.

So using this globel mean temp. of 57.2 as a base, and a zero degrees F as a refrence for the exercise, the temp. tomorrow will be - 57.2 or 57.2 degrees below zero F....no?

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Stimpy - FSO on 09/05/11 at 17:00:12

I'm not so sure about the WHOLE list myself ;D

I did not post it, someone just copy/pasted
it last week (just the questions) and since it
kinda annoyed me I tried to answer it just
for the heck of it, hehe.

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by justin_o_guy2 on 09/05/11 at 17:42:13

Sooo,,, I hear you finally quit beating your wife,, is that true?

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Ed L. on 09/05/11 at 17:44:27

Why Did I Do That ??????

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by justin_o_guy2 on 09/05/11 at 17:47:16

Now, when did I eat THAT???

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Jay on 09/11/11 at 01:45:41

Hey, what if there were no hypothetical questions?

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by arteacher on 09/11/11 at 05:35:08

Here is one I confuse students with:
"Everything I say is a lie."

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by justin_o_guy2 on 09/11/11 at 06:31:43

464D4D444847465C5D290 wrote:

Here is one I confuse students with:
"Everything I say is a lie."

You could just say "Hi, I am a politician"

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Boule’tard on 09/11/11 at 07:07:56

16312C28353C450 wrote:

I did not post it, someone just copy/pasted
it last week (just the questions) and since it
kinda annoyed me I tried to answer it just
for the heck of it, hehe.

The original thread from mr. sPammy was just a spam post w/links to buy shoes. But you did a good job answering the "unanswerable" questions! :D

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by arteacher on 09/11/11 at 07:36:59

4B545255484F7E4E7E46545813210 wrote:

[quote author=464D4D444847465C5D290 link=1314875901/0#9 date=1315744508]Here is one I confuse students with:
"Everything I say is a lie."

You could just say "Hi, I am a politician" [/quote]
If I am lying when I say that then I must be telling the truth but if I'm telling the truth then I must be lying but if I'm lying then I must be telling the truth but if I'm............ :-/

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by Boule’tard on 09/11/11 at 08:09:31

7A5D485B45404F5D4C5B290 wrote:

No, no NO!! I CANNOT let this stand! ;D

T₁ = O degrees F which is 255k. The statement "twice as cold" while it sounds like a dippy word game, actually means those atomic vibrations we quantify as temperature, are going to be halved on the next day. Therefore the Kelvin temperature is the one to divide by 2. T₂ = 255K/2 = 127.5K. Converting that back to degrees F, tomorrow's temperature will be -230F.

Take THAT, mr. questions-you-can't-answer sammy the spambot! I win. 8-)

Title: Re: Questions you can Never Answer
Post by gerald.hughes on 09/11/11 at 08:12:39

Logic 1a. A self referential statement. I much prefer the old catechism question, "Now then father, can God make a rock so big that he cannot lift it?"