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/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl General Category >> The Cafe >> how to get to heaven /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1290128086 Message started by kennycreed on 11/18/10 at 16:54:46 |
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Title: how to get to heaven Post by kennycreed on 11/18/10 at 16:54:46 A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.' St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy??' 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his Billy boiled.' And the blonde entered Heaven.. |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by Phelonius on 11/18/10 at 19:07:24 that was pretty good, and I thought that all I had to do was move here. http://p1.bikepics.com/pics/2010/11/18/bikepics-2100600-800.jpg http://p1.bikepics.com/pics/2010/11/18/bikepics-2100601-800.jpg http://p1.bikepics.com/pics/2010/10/31/bikepics-2090006-800.jpg Phelonius |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by mick on 11/18/10 at 22:23:06 My idea of heaven would be to marry Sandra Bullock. |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by stinger on 11/19/10 at 23:21:31 Sorry Mick, you don't believe in heaven! You get to marry Barbara Walters! |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by mick on 11/19/10 at 23:37:26 21263B3C353720520 wrote:
you are quite right , I just said "My idea" of heaven. |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by Phelonius on 11/20/10 at 04:25:37 You don't have to be religious to get to heaven. After all, I got here. Phelonius |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by drharveys on 11/21/10 at 16:14:55 6A525F565554534F493A0 wrote:
And I'll be heading there next month! Maui, though. Sorry the ferry stopped running... |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by mick on 11/21/10 at 16:57:07 5E666B626160677B7D0E0 wrote:
me niether, in my humble opinion The beautiful state of Oregon is as close to heaven as I will ever get , besides I would much rather be in heaven while I'm alive so I can enjoy it. |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by bill67 on 11/21/10 at 17:22:31 North to Alaska ;) |
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Title: Re: how to get to heaven Post by mick on 11/21/10 at 17:34:01 696267673D3C0B0 wrote:
North Alaska ? don't you have to have a passport to go there ? or is that the place the US bought for a buck and a half ,and that included Sarah Palin.? |
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